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missmara13Okay, while the bulk of this is 4 years after the events of the most recent chapter of HB, there's a bit of background exposition for the in between first. It was neccesary to set things up so the rest will make sense... lol... As I said on the WAW one, this is just ONE POSSIBLE future for the story, it may go totally different as I write the actually story, but this is where I can currently see it in 4 years, and what began to flow out as I wrote. I started with the concept of Ryan's feelings about college and then it just kinda... exploded... I swear... lol
Ryan had discovered, a week into his freshman year at NYU, that he hated college because he was completely alone again, reminding him a little too much of life in Chino those 6 months between getting kicked out by his mom and moving in with the Cohens in Newport. Then The Nana showed up at his dorm room and started fussing over him, making him smile shyly and agree to go to her house in the Bronx for dinner every Friday night to 'keep an old woman company', though he knew that she was doing it for him more than herself.Ryan stayed in New York for Thanksgiving, watching the parade with The Nana who seemed to have a theory that every other character who'd been made into a balloon was Jewish, though that may have been just to make him laugh with her. He went home for winter break and would regret it for years to come.
Seth was using drugs again, Ryan could tell the second he walked into his adoptive brother's room, and they argued about it before the Yacht Club party. Then, at the party, they'd started arguing again in a room off the main ballroom, and by the time it spilled into the room with everyone else, it was primarily about the fact that Seth was clearing cheating on Che with some girl named Jess. Seth had directly asked if he was being called a slut by Ryan, and without giving the other boy a chance to respond, Seth had yelled at the top of his lungs that Ryan was the one who slept with men for money.
The silence had been immediate, and everyone had heard Ryan's glass, filled with club soda, smash into the marble floor as he just stared in horror and pain. Finally, he looked around and saw everyone staring at them, then had looked back at Seth and hit him, a solid punch that knocked Seth to the ground, then walked out, not looking back as he felt tears stinging in his eyes. He didn't ask the valet to bring around the car, or to call him a cab, he just started walking home, his cell glued to his hand as he called the airline to try and get on a flight back to New York that night. At least until Summer's silver convertible pulled up beside him and she just looked at him, no pity in her gaze only sadness.
She'd been his ex-girlfriend for 4 years, since that day on the Harbor lawn when she'd accused him of cheating on her with Holly, and while they'd gotten to be tentative friends again it had never been anything like the friendship they'd had before their romance. But she was still there, and she still reached out to grasp his hand on the drive back to the Cohens, and helped him pack his things, neither of them saying a word until everything was all packed and she asked when his new flight was leaving. He hadn't been able to get one until the next afternoon, so he was going to a motel for the night, but she had other ideas and took him to a medium priced place, footing the bill with the explanation that she was paying him back for all the times he bought food for her and the others during high school.
She'd helped him carry his bags into the room, then stayed to talk, telling that she'd been hearing stories from mutual friends at Brown about Seth's partying, and seen him in action more than once. Che had become her closest friend, scary as that sounded, and she hated that he was getting hurt by Seth, so she loved Ryan more for hitting Seth. The words had just slipped out, and she'd almost immediately looked away, turning bright red and stammering an apology.
Ryan had responded by reaching to grip her chin and turning her face to kiss her, long and deep. A kiss that turned into her hands shoving his suit jacket down his arms and tossing it aside as he unzipped the back of her dress. It was the first time since his rape almost three years earlier that he'd had anyone touching him like that and not panicked, and that was enough for him in that moment to let it keep going. Summer, it turned out, was Miss Responsible, and had a condom in her purse, 'just in case she met a hot guy', and it turned into the first time in over three years that'd he'd willing and enthusiastically had sex with anyone.
In the morning, when he woke up after a good night's sleep, Ryan was alone in the room and in bed, with a note on the night table telling him that the night before was a mistake and she'd thought she should leave before they had to deal with the awkward regret. He'd sighed and gotten up, checking out the room service breakfast she'd ordered for him, and eating before getting dressed and heading for the airport to head home, where there was no one to meet him.
He didn't go back to Newport again.
~~~
A year and a half later, Ryan came home from one of his summer semester classes to find Sandy sitting on the floor outside his apartment, and he froze, not sure what to say to the man who hadn't spoken to him in so long, the man who'd known all about his issues but had still abandoned him. Made that abandoned him again if you counted Sandy's lack of notice during Ryan's senior year at Harbor when he chose the Newport Group over seeing how Ryan was spiraling over Trey's death at the hands over a former 'friend' from Chino. But when Ryan saw that Sandy's shoulders were shaking with silent sobs, he spoke. "Who?" he asked, knowing that someone was hurt or dead. "Who is it?"
Sandy looked up, eyes red from what had to have been days of crying. "Seth overdosed. Heroin."
"Did he... is he..." Ryan began, not wanting to finish the sentence.
"He was cold when we found him. I... We got your address a year ago, from the private detective we hired, we just never had the guts to use it. But we've just lost one son for good, and... and we need to see if we can get the other one back."
"Sandy..."
"I... We've missed you."
"So much that you didn't come until you needed to get me back," Ryan replied bitterly. "Forget that I was 18 and your son told everyone in Newport, everyone who had finally started to see me as more than the car stealing punk you and Kirsten took in, that I was a whore, forget that I needed you then..."
"You left," Sandy protested weakly.
"I was 18 and the only brother I had left had just betrayed my trust so bad. I walked about 5 blocks before Summer caught up with me and gave me a ride back to your house. We were in the poolhouse for almost an hour while I packed everything of mine. I used my credit card to buy the early ticket back to New York. I lived in the dorms another 6 months. You had all that time to come after me, Sandy, and you didn't. But now you're down a son so here you are."
"That's not..."
"Could have fooled me," Ryan said, moving past him to unlock the door.
"You're seriously going to do this?"
"When's the funeral?" Ryan asked, pausing with his head resting against the doorframe.
"What? Can't I...?" Sandy asked, gesturing inside the apartment.
"No," Ryan said. "I only let people who give a damn about me into my place. It kinda means that only one person ever comes in, but... whatever. When is it?"
"This Friday at three, the same church that Julie and Caleb got married at."
"I'm assuming since you came that it's okay if I show up?"
"After everything, you want to?"
"He was my friend for two and a half years, that means something to me," Ryan said before walking inside and closing the door quietly.
"I'm catching the 10pm flight back to Newport," Sandy called through the door before sliding a ticket under the door. "I'd really like it if you came home with me."
Ryan listened until he heard Sandy's retreating footsteps, then sank down to sit on the floor, body shaking with suppressed sobs.
~~~
Ryan notified his professors of a death in the family immediately, and right after he headed over to The Nana's to see if she knew and comfort her. She'd wound up doing more of the comforting than he did, and he let her because he felt she needed to be useful at the moment. She'd booted Sandy out when he told her that he was going to go see Ryan next, angry that it took this for him to remember his other son, the one who had always needed to be reminded he was loved, but he'd left her a ticket for the 10pm flight, too. So, after some discussion, she and Ryan decided they'd try to catch the flight and they'd deal with things together.
He wasn't sure what he expected Sandy's reaction to be when he saw them arriving together, but somehow he hadn't expected the man's surprise. He'd always assumed that The Nana had told Sandy and Kirsten that she saw him regularly. Apparently not.
"Why didn't you mention this, Ma?" Sandy asked in a low, tense, voice as he looked over at her, and past her to Ryan.
"Maybe I was hoping you had the sense to realize I wasn't going to abandoned one of my grandkids just because you left him out in the cold," The Nana snapped. "You've been one hell of a father, Sandford. The poor boy would have been better off with that father-in-law of yours. He at least had the sense to call me and ask to look out for Ryan as best I could."
"Caleb did that?" Sandy asked, surprised.
"He actually gave a damn..."
"We..."
"Fine, he showed that he gave a damn."
"Please just stop," Ryan said quietly. "I hate planes and if I have to listen to you two bicker the whole time I'm gonna get sick."
"We'll stop," The Nana said, reaching to squeeze his hand gently. "And remember, you're safer in a plane than in a car."
"Yeah, I don't even like being in cabs now because of that little gem," Ryan joked weakly, squeezing her hand in response to let her know he was greatful she was there and trying.
~~~
If Sandy had been surprised to see both The Nana and Ryan together, Kirsten was downright shocked when they got to the new house, the one they'd moved to after the earthquake Ryan had heard about and panicked over until The Nana had called to tell him she'd heard from everyone. Kirsten immediately embraced Ryan, asking how Sandy had found him, and making it clear in that single question that Sandy hadn't told her about the private investigator.
"I'm fine, and... and Nana knew my address," Ryan said. "We've kept in touch," he added, only the slightest bit pleased and much more ashamed, when Kirsten visibly flinched at his words. "I'm sorry about Seth."
"He did it to himself," Kirsten replied softly as The Nana hugged her and smoothed her hair. "Ryan, I'll show you to your..." she began as the older woman released her.
"I'm staying in a hotel," Ryan replied quickly.
"But we..."
"I'm staying in a hotel," Ryan repeated. "But thanks for the offer," he added. "I just came by to let you know I'm here and I'll be at the funeral on Friday."
"Ryan, please..." Kirsten began, tears in her eyes.
Ryan sighed and looked away. "I booked a room at the Radley, I'll call Nana when I know the room number. You can come by in the morning if you want to see me. But I don't feel comfortable sleeping under your roof. Please, just... understand that."
"The Radley's expensive..." Sandy began.
"Leave the boy alone, Sandford," Caleb said as he came downstairs. "I wasn't sure you'd come," he added to the boy.
"Yeah, well, I did," Ryan said, nodding and accepting Caleb's offered hand, shaking it firmly.
"I was just leaving, so I'll give you a ride to your hotel."
"Thanks," Ryan replied, nodding. "If nothing else, I'll see you guys at the funeral," he added to Kirsten and Sandy before kissing The Nana's cheek and leaving with Caleb.
"How's school?" Caleb asked once they were settled in the back of the limo.
"I'll be done in another year and a half," Ryan said. "Maybe a year if I really buckle down."
"You shouldn't work so hard, enjoy school."
"It'll cost you more money," Ryan said quietly.
"You know?" Caleb asked, surprised.
"My scholarship didn't cover summer semesters, and yet last year and this year..."
"You have a lot of talent, it shouldn't be wasted."
"It would take a miracle for me to ever move back to California," Ryan said. "So if this is a bid to get me to work for you..."
"While I'd be happy to have you, it's not. But especially now... you're the only grandson I have left. Unless Hailey and that brother of yours have a child which frankly..."
"Scares the hell out of you?" Ryan asked, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. "I know the feeling."
"How are you doing? Not school, but..."
"Haven't even had the sniffles since I got released from the hospital," Ryan replied. "My viral load is pretty low right now. Still detectable, but... lower than it's been since high school."
"Good, because you gave Sophie and I quite a scare."
"So, why didn't you ever tell Kirsten you knew right where I was? Why didn't you tell her when I got so sick?"
"Sophie convinced me that you wouldn't want them to know and come out of guilt."
"Nana knows me pretty well," Ryan agreed as the limo pulled up in front of the hotel. "Do you want to come up for a bit?" he asked. "I... I have some questions about what happened to Seth..."
"Of course," Caleb said, telling his driver to go get coffee and wait for his call.
~~~
"You're in his will, you know," Caleb said after filling Ryan in on Seth's msot recent tail spin.
"I am?"
"He didn't have much left, I'd been stupid enough to give him half his trust fund early, but... I get the feeling he left most of it to you," Caleb explained.
"Why?"
"Guilt," Caleb said simply. "I think he was finally realizing how bad he hurt you that night, and he hated himself for it. He thought he could make it up to you this way."
"Nothing will ever make up for what he did," Ryan replied, looking away.
"He... he always denied it when I tried to ask, but I think he was in love with you. Had been for a long time."
"I know," Ryan whispered. "I'm not a stupid man, Caleb. I saw it"
~~~
Most of the old gang from high school was at the funeral, including a pregnant Taylor who quietly showed him the tasteful diamond Luke had given her when he'd proposed 5 minutes before she'd told him she was pregnant, and Holly who gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and ask about his viral load and T-Cell levels, smiling at the good news on both fronts. Things got awkward when Summer approached, until he pulled her into a tight hug.
"We need to talk later, after the will reading."
Summer nodded slowly and squeezed his hand. "Sure, Chino," she said. "So, how's New York treating you?"
"Pretty good," Ryan said, nodding and holding on to her hand.
~~~
"What'd he leave you?" Summer asked as she sat down next to Ryan on a bench on the pier.
"What was left of his trust fund and his comics, which apparently are worth about three times what's left in the trust fund."
"So you're set," Summer said, nodding slightly.
"It wasn't a mistake," Ryan said quietly.
"What wasn't?"
"That night, last time I was in Newport. I never thought it was a mistake, and it hurt that you did."
"You were upset and I never... I shouldn't have..."
"I kissed you," Ryan said. "And I did it because I wanted to. Because it... it had been two and a half years, but I still loved you, Summer. I... I still love you now."
"I'm engaged," Summer said. "To Zach Stevens, you remember him?"
"Yeah, I remember, nice guy," Ryan said. "I should go," he added, getting up.
"Ryan..."
"I can't... have you ever had a place that... that just being there killed you a little bit?" Ryan asked. "Newport's that place for me. I'm booked on the flight home to New York that leaves tonight, so... I better go get changed and packed again."
"Chino, I don't wanna leave things like this."
"Yeah, well, I don't really see any other way to leave it," Ryan said, getting up to walk away.
"I'm sorry!" Summer called after him.
"So am I," Ryan said, turning back. "I'm sorry I ever came to Newport in the first place. I'm sorry I ever fell in love you. I'm sorry I trusted Seth... And I'm really sorry I never stopped being in love with you." He turned away again, leaving her stunned.
The End
Ryan had discovered, a week into his freshman year at NYU, that he hated college because he was completely alone again, reminding him a little too much of life in Chino those 6 months between getting kicked out by his mom and moving in with the Cohens in Newport. Then The Nana showed up at his dorm room and started fussing over him, making him smile shyly and agree to go to her house in the Bronx for dinner every Friday night to 'keep an old woman company', though he knew that she was doing it for him more than herself.Ryan stayed in New York for Thanksgiving, watching the parade with The Nana who seemed to have a theory that every other character who'd been made into a balloon was Jewish, though that may have been just to make him laugh with her. He went home for winter break and would regret it for years to come.
Seth was using drugs again, Ryan could tell the second he walked into his adoptive brother's room, and they argued about it before the Yacht Club party. Then, at the party, they'd started arguing again in a room off the main ballroom, and by the time it spilled into the room with everyone else, it was primarily about the fact that Seth was clearing cheating on Che with some girl named Jess. Seth had directly asked if he was being called a slut by Ryan, and without giving the other boy a chance to respond, Seth had yelled at the top of his lungs that Ryan was the one who slept with men for money.
The silence had been immediate, and everyone had heard Ryan's glass, filled with club soda, smash into the marble floor as he just stared in horror and pain. Finally, he looked around and saw everyone staring at them, then had looked back at Seth and hit him, a solid punch that knocked Seth to the ground, then walked out, not looking back as he felt tears stinging in his eyes. He didn't ask the valet to bring around the car, or to call him a cab, he just started walking home, his cell glued to his hand as he called the airline to try and get on a flight back to New York that night. At least until Summer's silver convertible pulled up beside him and she just looked at him, no pity in her gaze only sadness.
She'd been his ex-girlfriend for 4 years, since that day on the Harbor lawn when she'd accused him of cheating on her with Holly, and while they'd gotten to be tentative friends again it had never been anything like the friendship they'd had before their romance. But she was still there, and she still reached out to grasp his hand on the drive back to the Cohens, and helped him pack his things, neither of them saying a word until everything was all packed and she asked when his new flight was leaving. He hadn't been able to get one until the next afternoon, so he was going to a motel for the night, but she had other ideas and took him to a medium priced place, footing the bill with the explanation that she was paying him back for all the times he bought food for her and the others during high school.
She'd helped him carry his bags into the room, then stayed to talk, telling that she'd been hearing stories from mutual friends at Brown about Seth's partying, and seen him in action more than once. Che had become her closest friend, scary as that sounded, and she hated that he was getting hurt by Seth, so she loved Ryan more for hitting Seth. The words had just slipped out, and she'd almost immediately looked away, turning bright red and stammering an apology.
Ryan had responded by reaching to grip her chin and turning her face to kiss her, long and deep. A kiss that turned into her hands shoving his suit jacket down his arms and tossing it aside as he unzipped the back of her dress. It was the first time since his rape almost three years earlier that he'd had anyone touching him like that and not panicked, and that was enough for him in that moment to let it keep going. Summer, it turned out, was Miss Responsible, and had a condom in her purse, 'just in case she met a hot guy', and it turned into the first time in over three years that'd he'd willing and enthusiastically had sex with anyone.
In the morning, when he woke up after a good night's sleep, Ryan was alone in the room and in bed, with a note on the night table telling him that the night before was a mistake and she'd thought she should leave before they had to deal with the awkward regret. He'd sighed and gotten up, checking out the room service breakfast she'd ordered for him, and eating before getting dressed and heading for the airport to head home, where there was no one to meet him.
He didn't go back to Newport again.
~~~
A year and a half later, Ryan came home from one of his summer semester classes to find Sandy sitting on the floor outside his apartment, and he froze, not sure what to say to the man who hadn't spoken to him in so long, the man who'd known all about his issues but had still abandoned him. Made that abandoned him again if you counted Sandy's lack of notice during Ryan's senior year at Harbor when he chose the Newport Group over seeing how Ryan was spiraling over Trey's death at the hands over a former 'friend' from Chino. But when Ryan saw that Sandy's shoulders were shaking with silent sobs, he spoke. "Who?" he asked, knowing that someone was hurt or dead. "Who is it?"
Sandy looked up, eyes red from what had to have been days of crying. "Seth overdosed. Heroin."
"Did he... is he..." Ryan began, not wanting to finish the sentence.
"He was cold when we found him. I... We got your address a year ago, from the private detective we hired, we just never had the guts to use it. But we've just lost one son for good, and... and we need to see if we can get the other one back."
"Sandy..."
"I... We've missed you."
"So much that you didn't come until you needed to get me back," Ryan replied bitterly. "Forget that I was 18 and your son told everyone in Newport, everyone who had finally started to see me as more than the car stealing punk you and Kirsten took in, that I was a whore, forget that I needed you then..."
"You left," Sandy protested weakly.
"I was 18 and the only brother I had left had just betrayed my trust so bad. I walked about 5 blocks before Summer caught up with me and gave me a ride back to your house. We were in the poolhouse for almost an hour while I packed everything of mine. I used my credit card to buy the early ticket back to New York. I lived in the dorms another 6 months. You had all that time to come after me, Sandy, and you didn't. But now you're down a son so here you are."
"That's not..."
"Could have fooled me," Ryan said, moving past him to unlock the door.
"You're seriously going to do this?"
"When's the funeral?" Ryan asked, pausing with his head resting against the doorframe.
"What? Can't I...?" Sandy asked, gesturing inside the apartment.
"No," Ryan said. "I only let people who give a damn about me into my place. It kinda means that only one person ever comes in, but... whatever. When is it?"
"This Friday at three, the same church that Julie and Caleb got married at."
"I'm assuming since you came that it's okay if I show up?"
"After everything, you want to?"
"He was my friend for two and a half years, that means something to me," Ryan said before walking inside and closing the door quietly.
"I'm catching the 10pm flight back to Newport," Sandy called through the door before sliding a ticket under the door. "I'd really like it if you came home with me."
Ryan listened until he heard Sandy's retreating footsteps, then sank down to sit on the floor, body shaking with suppressed sobs.
~~~
Ryan notified his professors of a death in the family immediately, and right after he headed over to The Nana's to see if she knew and comfort her. She'd wound up doing more of the comforting than he did, and he let her because he felt she needed to be useful at the moment. She'd booted Sandy out when he told her that he was going to go see Ryan next, angry that it took this for him to remember his other son, the one who had always needed to be reminded he was loved, but he'd left her a ticket for the 10pm flight, too. So, after some discussion, she and Ryan decided they'd try to catch the flight and they'd deal with things together.
He wasn't sure what he expected Sandy's reaction to be when he saw them arriving together, but somehow he hadn't expected the man's surprise. He'd always assumed that The Nana had told Sandy and Kirsten that she saw him regularly. Apparently not.
"Why didn't you mention this, Ma?" Sandy asked in a low, tense, voice as he looked over at her, and past her to Ryan.
"Maybe I was hoping you had the sense to realize I wasn't going to abandoned one of my grandkids just because you left him out in the cold," The Nana snapped. "You've been one hell of a father, Sandford. The poor boy would have been better off with that father-in-law of yours. He at least had the sense to call me and ask to look out for Ryan as best I could."
"Caleb did that?" Sandy asked, surprised.
"He actually gave a damn..."
"We..."
"Fine, he showed that he gave a damn."
"Please just stop," Ryan said quietly. "I hate planes and if I have to listen to you two bicker the whole time I'm gonna get sick."
"We'll stop," The Nana said, reaching to squeeze his hand gently. "And remember, you're safer in a plane than in a car."
"Yeah, I don't even like being in cabs now because of that little gem," Ryan joked weakly, squeezing her hand in response to let her know he was greatful she was there and trying.
~~~
If Sandy had been surprised to see both The Nana and Ryan together, Kirsten was downright shocked when they got to the new house, the one they'd moved to after the earthquake Ryan had heard about and panicked over until The Nana had called to tell him she'd heard from everyone. Kirsten immediately embraced Ryan, asking how Sandy had found him, and making it clear in that single question that Sandy hadn't told her about the private investigator.
"I'm fine, and... and Nana knew my address," Ryan said. "We've kept in touch," he added, only the slightest bit pleased and much more ashamed, when Kirsten visibly flinched at his words. "I'm sorry about Seth."
"He did it to himself," Kirsten replied softly as The Nana hugged her and smoothed her hair. "Ryan, I'll show you to your..." she began as the older woman released her.
"I'm staying in a hotel," Ryan replied quickly.
"But we..."
"I'm staying in a hotel," Ryan repeated. "But thanks for the offer," he added. "I just came by to let you know I'm here and I'll be at the funeral on Friday."
"Ryan, please..." Kirsten began, tears in her eyes.
Ryan sighed and looked away. "I booked a room at the Radley, I'll call Nana when I know the room number. You can come by in the morning if you want to see me. But I don't feel comfortable sleeping under your roof. Please, just... understand that."
"The Radley's expensive..." Sandy began.
"Leave the boy alone, Sandford," Caleb said as he came downstairs. "I wasn't sure you'd come," he added to the boy.
"Yeah, well, I did," Ryan said, nodding and accepting Caleb's offered hand, shaking it firmly.
"I was just leaving, so I'll give you a ride to your hotel."
"Thanks," Ryan replied, nodding. "If nothing else, I'll see you guys at the funeral," he added to Kirsten and Sandy before kissing The Nana's cheek and leaving with Caleb.
"How's school?" Caleb asked once they were settled in the back of the limo.
"I'll be done in another year and a half," Ryan said. "Maybe a year if I really buckle down."
"You shouldn't work so hard, enjoy school."
"It'll cost you more money," Ryan said quietly.
"You know?" Caleb asked, surprised.
"My scholarship didn't cover summer semesters, and yet last year and this year..."
"You have a lot of talent, it shouldn't be wasted."
"It would take a miracle for me to ever move back to California," Ryan said. "So if this is a bid to get me to work for you..."
"While I'd be happy to have you, it's not. But especially now... you're the only grandson I have left. Unless Hailey and that brother of yours have a child which frankly..."
"Scares the hell out of you?" Ryan asked, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. "I know the feeling."
"How are you doing? Not school, but..."
"Haven't even had the sniffles since I got released from the hospital," Ryan replied. "My viral load is pretty low right now. Still detectable, but... lower than it's been since high school."
"Good, because you gave Sophie and I quite a scare."
"So, why didn't you ever tell Kirsten you knew right where I was? Why didn't you tell her when I got so sick?"
"Sophie convinced me that you wouldn't want them to know and come out of guilt."
"Nana knows me pretty well," Ryan agreed as the limo pulled up in front of the hotel. "Do you want to come up for a bit?" he asked. "I... I have some questions about what happened to Seth..."
"Of course," Caleb said, telling his driver to go get coffee and wait for his call.
~~~
"You're in his will, you know," Caleb said after filling Ryan in on Seth's msot recent tail spin.
"I am?"
"He didn't have much left, I'd been stupid enough to give him half his trust fund early, but... I get the feeling he left most of it to you," Caleb explained.
"Why?"
"Guilt," Caleb said simply. "I think he was finally realizing how bad he hurt you that night, and he hated himself for it. He thought he could make it up to you this way."
"Nothing will ever make up for what he did," Ryan replied, looking away.
"He... he always denied it when I tried to ask, but I think he was in love with you. Had been for a long time."
"I know," Ryan whispered. "I'm not a stupid man, Caleb. I saw it"
~~~
Most of the old gang from high school was at the funeral, including a pregnant Taylor who quietly showed him the tasteful diamond Luke had given her when he'd proposed 5 minutes before she'd told him she was pregnant, and Holly who gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and ask about his viral load and T-Cell levels, smiling at the good news on both fronts. Things got awkward when Summer approached, until he pulled her into a tight hug.
"We need to talk later, after the will reading."
Summer nodded slowly and squeezed his hand. "Sure, Chino," she said. "So, how's New York treating you?"
"Pretty good," Ryan said, nodding and holding on to her hand.
~~~
"What'd he leave you?" Summer asked as she sat down next to Ryan on a bench on the pier.
"What was left of his trust fund and his comics, which apparently are worth about three times what's left in the trust fund."
"So you're set," Summer said, nodding slightly.
"It wasn't a mistake," Ryan said quietly.
"What wasn't?"
"That night, last time I was in Newport. I never thought it was a mistake, and it hurt that you did."
"You were upset and I never... I shouldn't have..."
"I kissed you," Ryan said. "And I did it because I wanted to. Because it... it had been two and a half years, but I still loved you, Summer. I... I still love you now."
"I'm engaged," Summer said. "To Zach Stevens, you remember him?"
"Yeah, I remember, nice guy," Ryan said. "I should go," he added, getting up.
"Ryan..."
"I can't... have you ever had a place that... that just being there killed you a little bit?" Ryan asked. "Newport's that place for me. I'm booked on the flight home to New York that leaves tonight, so... I better go get changed and packed again."
"Chino, I don't wanna leave things like this."
"Yeah, well, I don't really see any other way to leave it," Ryan said, getting up to walk away.
"I'm sorry!" Summer called after him.
"So am I," Ryan said, turning back. "I'm sorry I ever came to Newport in the first place. I'm sorry I ever fell in love you. I'm sorry I trusted Seth... And I'm really sorry I never stopped being in love with you." He turned away again, leaving her stunned.
The End
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Date: 2007-10-01 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 06:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 08:31 am (UTC)This makes me very sad. And happy at the same time. IDK.
Seth being in love with Ryan? That really is part of my personal canon! Ryan loving Summer is as well. And Caleb and the Nana liking Ryan.
You really need to update this. Will the next part be after this? Or before this?
I am undecided about whether I'd like it to end open-ended like this or if I'd like to see what happens next.
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Date: 2007-10-01 09:27 pm (UTC)While I only read Seth/Ryan slash rarely (Really only one Seth/Ryan fic has ever caught my attention, the wonderful epic 'Sounds Of Silence'... if you haven't read it and want the link, let me know...), I really am totally sure that Seth fell in lust with Ryan at first sight, and fell in love by the time school started that first year... lol...
In this universe, I'm undecided about whether Summer is the love of Ryan's life or just someone he truly and deeply loved and always will. Even if she's not THE love of his life, she's certainly A love of his life. lol
I'm gonna continue the story from the point that Chapter 57 ended, but actually I like the idea of the story eventually reaching this point... lol... If I can think of an appropriate title, I may end HB soon and immediately start a sequel that deals with Ryan's junior year of high school and my twist on the events of that year... lol... then do the same thing when it gets to the end of the summer before Senior Year... because a 70 chapter completed story is less intimidating than a 100+ chapter continuing story... lol... and HB is probably going to go on for a LONG time... lol...
I have a feeling that I'll eventually get to this point in the main story, and then you will know all the before and after moments... lol
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Date: 2007-10-01 09:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 09:29 pm (UTC)But as you said, Ryan has The Nana and Caleb, and they've been good to him...
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Date: 2007-10-01 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 09:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 11:24 pm (UTC)Do you really want me to give up on this story. *frustrated*
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Date: 2007-10-05 04:21 am (UTC)How ironic is it that the 2 old coots are Ryan's true champions? Sandy and Kirsten? Ever so disappointed in them. Seth dead. S'ok by me.
Any chance you'll write another alt ending?
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Date: 2007-10-06 03:00 am (UTC)Love this.
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Date: 2007-10-19 08:08 pm (UTC)It'd be very nice if you could post a little more.
Thanks anyway for this bit.
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Date: 2008-03-09 08:35 am (UTC)