The Truth Hurts - 3
Jan. 31st, 2007 01:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmara13Title: The Truth Hurts - 3
Author: Mara
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: God... mentions of violence, nothing too bad.
Summary: It's not the best result, but it could be so much worse... Kirsten's POV.
Notes: An AU to 'The Truth'. Italics are Kirsten's memories, this time some of the quotes are things Ryan said, some were said by Kirsten, some by Sandy. Some are from the show, some I created to fit the story. The point is the same, Kirsten's remembering, just like Sandy did in the other one in this universe.
Edit: Figures, the one time I don't check to make sure the dang thing looks alright from my main journal, I messed up and left out the LJ Cut... lol
The Truth Hurts - 3
There were times, in those first few weeks and months after he finally woke up, that Kirsten was sure Ryan could hear and understand everything they were saying, even though the doctors said the brain damage was too severe. She would look in Ryan's normally blank eyes and she would see something, see some spark of the Ryan they had known. Sometimes it was just there for a moment, sometimes it lasted for several minutes. But Kirsten seemed to be the only one who saw it, and eventually she almost began to believe the doctors when they said it was her imagination.
"He's a kid with no one and nowhere to go!"
Whenever her mind wasn't occupied with something else, Kirsten found her thoughts drifting back to Ryan, remembering what had happened during the six months he had been with them before the shooting. She remembered how harsh she had been at first, how unfriendly towards the lonely boy who'd been all alone. How much she'd just wanted him to be gone, even though she knew he was just a scared kid.
"I said leave her alone!"
He'd surprised her when he jumped to her defense in Juvie, getting into a fight with the clearly violent boy to defend her honor, and she hadn't been able to leave him there with people who would hurt him. But that didn't mean she'd wanted him around forever. He was still a criminal. He had still gotten Seth into a fight, or so she'd thought, and he was nothing but trouble in the long run. He could come back for a little while, just until they found his mother.
"I used to want to be an architect."
He'd sparked his curiosity with that simple comment, telling her that he'd once dreamed of something big, but it had been so far out of his reach that he would settle for being 17. Not 18 and an adult, able to legally be on his own. He wanted to be 17, just two years older than he was, because it seemed to be the closest he could come to his illusive hopes and dreams. She'd begun to realize then that this boy her husband had brought home was old before his time.
"It's okay, ma..."
She'd finally realized that he really was still just a child when she'd seen him trying to help his mother, supporting her weight as she stumbled drunkenly, and refusing any more help once Sandy had helped him get Dawn into the poolhouse bed. His quiet assurances that he could handle it, he had so many times before, had broken Kirsten's heart, but she still hadn't been ready to let him into their lives for good. She had to think of Seth and his well being first.
"Ryan's going to live here now."
The devastation on Ryan's face when his mother walked away form him had been enough for Kirsten to make her decision. She couldn't turn this boy, this child, away when he really did have nowhere and no one left to go to. So he'd stayed, at first with her still hesitant and worried, but he'd found his place with them, each of his rare and genuine smiles becoming a blessing.
"Kirsten? Seth's okay, but... but something happened..."
He'd sounded so small when he'd called to tell her and Sandy about Marissa's overdose, and when they'd arrived in Tijuana to get the boys, he'd look just small as he had sounded on the phone, his gaze locked on the floor and his arms wrapped around his middle. And when she's pulled him into her arms and held him close, she'd felt the barely there trembles running through his body as he barely held it together.
"My mom was never that bad... she'd pass out, but never like that..."
He hid it well, but she caught him in moments when he let his weakness show, when he let his emotions rise to the surface and he'd admit things that he wouldn't have otherwise. Never anything that he didn't know that she knew already, just a little piece of his thoughts on it. Like his mother's drug use and how he'd taken care of her when she was high or drunk. Like how even his mother, a habitual user, had never managed to do what Marissa did.
"I don't know how to help her."
He'd been talking to himself that time, thinking he was completely alone as he sat on the edge of the pool his legs hanging in the water, long after the Christmas party had ended. She'd known he meant Marissa, but she hadn't realized how bad things were gettubg, none of them had until it was far too late to help either the girl or Ryan.
"You wouldn't listen!"
They should have listened. It was really that simple. They'd chalked his supiscion and dislike of Oliver up to jealousy because Oliver was getting Marissa's attention. They'd grounded him for trying to protect her by finding out the truth. They'd pushed aside his concerns and his worries when he tried to voice them, and they hadn't realized how wrong they had been until Ryan was shot and left to possibly spend the rest of his life in a hospital.
"Oliver shot Ryan. I.... it's bad."
The call had sent shivers down her spine, and she'd grabbed Seth before rushing to the hospital only to be told Ryan was in surgery, and they would find Sandy in the surgical waiting room. He hadn't made eye contact with them as they arrived, and had only shook his head and shrugged when they approached, telling them there was nothing new to report. So the three people had sat there, waiting for any news on what was happening, until the doors had opened and Ryan had appeared, tube down his throat to help him breath and bandages covering his head. And that had been the last moment that their family had truly been intact.
"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, I'm afraid the damage was severe..."
Everything had changed then, starting with the fact that Ryan didn't come home and continuing as Sandy's guilt ate at him and he took to spending hours sitting out in the poolhouse, as though he expected Ryan to come walking in at any time. Once Sandy had told her he couldn't do it anymore, couldn't be there, and left to see Sophie in New York, Kirsten found herself in the poolhouse late at night, looking through the small collection of books Ryan had on the shelves, and trying not to see the novel on the nightstand that had a bookmark stuck between it's pages halfway through, the fact that he might never get to finish it tearing at her heart too much.
"You can't just give up! He's Chino and he's strong!"
Summer's sobbed words had snapped Kirsten out of it, and she'd pulled herself together, first just enough to hold the sobbing girl who'd managed to lose two friends that horrible night, Ryan to the bullet and Marissa to a quick and steep downward spiral of drugs and alchohol. Then, Kirsten had gone to work, stopped pretending the poolhouse was waiting for Ryan and straightened it up, making the bed and cleaning out the mini fridge and cupboards. Then she'd collected Ryan's book from the night stand and taken it to the hospital to read to him, not even realizing until she opened it to the bookmarked page that it was a battered secondhand hardcover of 'The Chronicles Of Narnia', which she had always loved herself.
"I hope you don't mind if I back up a little, refresh both our memories."
She'd started reading it to him, a chapter or two a day, and when she finished she went back to his bookshelf to find a new book to read him, repeating the process when she finished that one. She went through all the novels, and went to a bookstore to find more, encouraging Seth to read the comic books to Ryan, just because the sound of their voices could help him. Seth had scoffed, but confessed that he couldn't sit there with Ryan long enough to read a comic to him, he just couldn't handle it.
"Ryan?"
Then came the day Kirsten decided to go back to Narnia and read them from the beginning. She finished the first few chapters, stopping just as the children entered Narnia together, and looked up to see Ryan's head turned towards her and his eyes open, watching. He hadn't reacted when she said his name, but she saw it in his yes, he knew she was there.
"Sandy, he woke up today. He opened his eyes and looked right at me."
The doctor's said Ryan probably didn't understand her, possibly didn't even know who she was, but Kirsten knew they were wrong. Ryan wouldn't respond to the doctors and nurses, he'd close his eyes again and fall asleep when they tried to ask him things, or even if they were just in the room talking for too long. But if she was reading, he would stay awake and watch her, listening, and she was sure he understood. Even if the words made no sense, he understood that she said them because she loved him.
"He knows me, I know he does!"
They said it was wishful thinking, that there wasn't enough left of the right portions of his brain for him to know who she was, but Kirsten was sure they were wrong, she saw it in his eyes. Ryan was still there, even if he couldn't communicate with them, he was there and he knew who they were and how much they loved him. Seth came more often after Ryan woke up, and read him the comics, exagerating the voices of the heroes and villians, doing high pitched voices for the girls, and finally, Seth saw it, too. He saw the light in Ryan's eyes that seemed to go off and on randomly, but when it was there, Ryan knew them. Sandy came home from New York and he saw it when he walked in, immediately beginning to talk to Ryan like he'd respond.
"You are definitely the one patient I don't mind, Ryan."
It was a long and slow process, but slowly others began to see the light. Emily, the kind nurse who always made sure there was a pitcher of cold water for Kirsten and always talked to Ryan as she took care of him, she saw the light one day as she called him her favorite patient and related a story about another boy his age who she had poured a glass of ice water on for making crude comments. Ryan's eyes had lit up, and the corner of his mouth had seemed to twitch for a moment, and the nurse had frozen, staring in shock before hurrying out and returning with the doctor, who finally took notice of what they were all saying and admitted that maybe Ryan understood more than they'd thought.
"I'd say it's a miracle."
The End
I think Seth's POV will be next... and then either Summer's, or maybe the medical staff...
Author: Mara
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: God... mentions of violence, nothing too bad.
Summary: It's not the best result, but it could be so much worse... Kirsten's POV.
Notes: An AU to 'The Truth'. Italics are Kirsten's memories, this time some of the quotes are things Ryan said, some were said by Kirsten, some by Sandy. Some are from the show, some I created to fit the story. The point is the same, Kirsten's remembering, just like Sandy did in the other one in this universe.
Edit: Figures, the one time I don't check to make sure the dang thing looks alright from my main journal, I messed up and left out the LJ Cut... lol
The Truth Hurts - 3
There were times, in those first few weeks and months after he finally woke up, that Kirsten was sure Ryan could hear and understand everything they were saying, even though the doctors said the brain damage was too severe. She would look in Ryan's normally blank eyes and she would see something, see some spark of the Ryan they had known. Sometimes it was just there for a moment, sometimes it lasted for several minutes. But Kirsten seemed to be the only one who saw it, and eventually she almost began to believe the doctors when they said it was her imagination.
"He's a kid with no one and nowhere to go!"
Whenever her mind wasn't occupied with something else, Kirsten found her thoughts drifting back to Ryan, remembering what had happened during the six months he had been with them before the shooting. She remembered how harsh she had been at first, how unfriendly towards the lonely boy who'd been all alone. How much she'd just wanted him to be gone, even though she knew he was just a scared kid.
"I said leave her alone!"
He'd surprised her when he jumped to her defense in Juvie, getting into a fight with the clearly violent boy to defend her honor, and she hadn't been able to leave him there with people who would hurt him. But that didn't mean she'd wanted him around forever. He was still a criminal. He had still gotten Seth into a fight, or so she'd thought, and he was nothing but trouble in the long run. He could come back for a little while, just until they found his mother.
"I used to want to be an architect."
He'd sparked his curiosity with that simple comment, telling her that he'd once dreamed of something big, but it had been so far out of his reach that he would settle for being 17. Not 18 and an adult, able to legally be on his own. He wanted to be 17, just two years older than he was, because it seemed to be the closest he could come to his illusive hopes and dreams. She'd begun to realize then that this boy her husband had brought home was old before his time.
"It's okay, ma..."
She'd finally realized that he really was still just a child when she'd seen him trying to help his mother, supporting her weight as she stumbled drunkenly, and refusing any more help once Sandy had helped him get Dawn into the poolhouse bed. His quiet assurances that he could handle it, he had so many times before, had broken Kirsten's heart, but she still hadn't been ready to let him into their lives for good. She had to think of Seth and his well being first.
"Ryan's going to live here now."
The devastation on Ryan's face when his mother walked away form him had been enough for Kirsten to make her decision. She couldn't turn this boy, this child, away when he really did have nowhere and no one left to go to. So he'd stayed, at first with her still hesitant and worried, but he'd found his place with them, each of his rare and genuine smiles becoming a blessing.
"Kirsten? Seth's okay, but... but something happened..."
He'd sounded so small when he'd called to tell her and Sandy about Marissa's overdose, and when they'd arrived in Tijuana to get the boys, he'd look just small as he had sounded on the phone, his gaze locked on the floor and his arms wrapped around his middle. And when she's pulled him into her arms and held him close, she'd felt the barely there trembles running through his body as he barely held it together.
"My mom was never that bad... she'd pass out, but never like that..."
He hid it well, but she caught him in moments when he let his weakness show, when he let his emotions rise to the surface and he'd admit things that he wouldn't have otherwise. Never anything that he didn't know that she knew already, just a little piece of his thoughts on it. Like his mother's drug use and how he'd taken care of her when she was high or drunk. Like how even his mother, a habitual user, had never managed to do what Marissa did.
"I don't know how to help her."
He'd been talking to himself that time, thinking he was completely alone as he sat on the edge of the pool his legs hanging in the water, long after the Christmas party had ended. She'd known he meant Marissa, but she hadn't realized how bad things were gettubg, none of them had until it was far too late to help either the girl or Ryan.
"You wouldn't listen!"
They should have listened. It was really that simple. They'd chalked his supiscion and dislike of Oliver up to jealousy because Oliver was getting Marissa's attention. They'd grounded him for trying to protect her by finding out the truth. They'd pushed aside his concerns and his worries when he tried to voice them, and they hadn't realized how wrong they had been until Ryan was shot and left to possibly spend the rest of his life in a hospital.
"Oliver shot Ryan. I.... it's bad."
The call had sent shivers down her spine, and she'd grabbed Seth before rushing to the hospital only to be told Ryan was in surgery, and they would find Sandy in the surgical waiting room. He hadn't made eye contact with them as they arrived, and had only shook his head and shrugged when they approached, telling them there was nothing new to report. So the three people had sat there, waiting for any news on what was happening, until the doors had opened and Ryan had appeared, tube down his throat to help him breath and bandages covering his head. And that had been the last moment that their family had truly been intact.
"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, I'm afraid the damage was severe..."
Everything had changed then, starting with the fact that Ryan didn't come home and continuing as Sandy's guilt ate at him and he took to spending hours sitting out in the poolhouse, as though he expected Ryan to come walking in at any time. Once Sandy had told her he couldn't do it anymore, couldn't be there, and left to see Sophie in New York, Kirsten found herself in the poolhouse late at night, looking through the small collection of books Ryan had on the shelves, and trying not to see the novel on the nightstand that had a bookmark stuck between it's pages halfway through, the fact that he might never get to finish it tearing at her heart too much.
"You can't just give up! He's Chino and he's strong!"
Summer's sobbed words had snapped Kirsten out of it, and she'd pulled herself together, first just enough to hold the sobbing girl who'd managed to lose two friends that horrible night, Ryan to the bullet and Marissa to a quick and steep downward spiral of drugs and alchohol. Then, Kirsten had gone to work, stopped pretending the poolhouse was waiting for Ryan and straightened it up, making the bed and cleaning out the mini fridge and cupboards. Then she'd collected Ryan's book from the night stand and taken it to the hospital to read to him, not even realizing until she opened it to the bookmarked page that it was a battered secondhand hardcover of 'The Chronicles Of Narnia', which she had always loved herself.
"I hope you don't mind if I back up a little, refresh both our memories."
She'd started reading it to him, a chapter or two a day, and when she finished she went back to his bookshelf to find a new book to read him, repeating the process when she finished that one. She went through all the novels, and went to a bookstore to find more, encouraging Seth to read the comic books to Ryan, just because the sound of their voices could help him. Seth had scoffed, but confessed that he couldn't sit there with Ryan long enough to read a comic to him, he just couldn't handle it.
"Ryan?"
Then came the day Kirsten decided to go back to Narnia and read them from the beginning. She finished the first few chapters, stopping just as the children entered Narnia together, and looked up to see Ryan's head turned towards her and his eyes open, watching. He hadn't reacted when she said his name, but she saw it in his yes, he knew she was there.
"Sandy, he woke up today. He opened his eyes and looked right at me."
The doctor's said Ryan probably didn't understand her, possibly didn't even know who she was, but Kirsten knew they were wrong. Ryan wouldn't respond to the doctors and nurses, he'd close his eyes again and fall asleep when they tried to ask him things, or even if they were just in the room talking for too long. But if she was reading, he would stay awake and watch her, listening, and she was sure he understood. Even if the words made no sense, he understood that she said them because she loved him.
"He knows me, I know he does!"
They said it was wishful thinking, that there wasn't enough left of the right portions of his brain for him to know who she was, but Kirsten was sure they were wrong, she saw it in his eyes. Ryan was still there, even if he couldn't communicate with them, he was there and he knew who they were and how much they loved him. Seth came more often after Ryan woke up, and read him the comics, exagerating the voices of the heroes and villians, doing high pitched voices for the girls, and finally, Seth saw it, too. He saw the light in Ryan's eyes that seemed to go off and on randomly, but when it was there, Ryan knew them. Sandy came home from New York and he saw it when he walked in, immediately beginning to talk to Ryan like he'd respond.
"You are definitely the one patient I don't mind, Ryan."
It was a long and slow process, but slowly others began to see the light. Emily, the kind nurse who always made sure there was a pitcher of cold water for Kirsten and always talked to Ryan as she took care of him, she saw the light one day as she called him her favorite patient and related a story about another boy his age who she had poured a glass of ice water on for making crude comments. Ryan's eyes had lit up, and the corner of his mouth had seemed to twitch for a moment, and the nurse had frozen, staring in shock before hurrying out and returning with the doctor, who finally took notice of what they were all saying and admitted that maybe Ryan understood more than they'd thought.
"I'd say it's a miracle."
The End
I think Seth's POV will be next... and then either Summer's, or maybe the medical staff...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 2007-01-31 10:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-31 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-31 07:56 pm (UTC)Turning him into a vegetable or some bird brained little child is as bad as killing him. So I really hope you are planing for recovery.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-31 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 05:50 am (UTC)LJ just ate my kind of long comment, so I'll try again in the morning. Not trusting the LJ right now!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 08:23 pm (UTC)I wasn't sure what to expect from Kirsten at this juncture, and I hope you'll give us another from her at a later date, but you've done a great job of incorporating many of her realizations about her feelings regarding Ryan, her initial treatment of him, how her perceptions changed, and so many of her fears and doubts.
We don't really get a sense about how she really views, or viewed her relationship with Ryan as she knew him before the shooting. I'm guessing that so much of her guilt is related to the fact that even if she had been less hostile and more accepting, that she never can know for sure how Ryan interpreted her actions without the direct words to accompany them. She never spent the time with him to say so many things, and now so much of her determination and grief and anger and frustration is fueled by what she failed to do by rejecting him so blatantly at first, by circling him so awkwardly, by sending out so many mixed signals, by keeping a distance and, finally by not listening to him or trying to consider his point of view in many things besides Oliver before not trusting him in that tragic circumstance.
We can't know how much of her blames Sandy for his own mistakes and for putting Ryan, ultimately, in physical danger at the hotel, but we do know that this has forced and shocked her into assessing herself, her feelings and her own behavior. You allow this to happen very creatively and naturally by following the chronological progression of Kirsten's memories of significant moments with Ryan and pivotal interactions that provided her with various insights- if and when she was receptive and observant- into Ryan's character and personality. And of course, so many of them are heartbreaking in their truth.
There's Ryan defending her when he had nothing to gain and everything to lose on so many levels. There's Ryan reassuring her that Seth is safe and fine and never giving himself a thought or expecting her to when he calls from Tijuana. There's Ryan hinting that he clings to hope and did dare to dream, but he has settled on pure survival day to day and simply living to legal adulthood while longing to maybe even enjoy what is supposed to be the carefree time before transitioning to new responsibility. For him, it would be going backwards since he's fifteen going on fifty in so many ways. He's wistful about that ideal sort of age the same way Kirsten is- which is a distressing concept. The fact that he's never considered that he might have a life beyond that actual age is disturbing- but honest.
There's Ryan resigned to taking care of Dawn and that awful role reversal that is such a window into his psyche and his life. Others are so dependent on him, yet he's been forced to be utterly self-reliant.
In terms of the others' reaction to his injuries, it seems that they are all responding in very plausible ways. Sandy would relive the events in vivid detail and replay conversations to punish himself before revisiting the final scene of horror. He would be overwhelmed at what he would view as his unforgivable mistake and having him run from Ryan and not being able to face him is painful, but realistic- especially if the Nana could talk some sense into him no matter how much it hurt.
Seth has always had his own heroic images of Ryan that no one could live up to, so for him to be confronted with an unconscious, unresponsive, unrecognizable Ryan who needs absolutely everything and can't do for him instead would be too much. He would need someone he could identify with before he could even spend time with him. It's a sign of his own lack of strength, experience and maturity. Some people simply never have that capacity.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 09:21 pm (UTC)Kirsten's somewhat lost in her guilt, but at the same time she knows she needs to focus on Ryan and not on that guilt, regret, and anger... I did gloss over Kirsten's feelings towards Sandy for what happened, completely unintentionally, but I can tell you that Seth's feelings are made loud and clear in his upcoming POV...
It was hard to write that Sandy left, but as you said, it seemed plausible... his guilt was completely overwhelming him, and he needed the distance to try and pull himself together without the daily reminder of what he let happen...
And Seth... ::sigh:: Seth wants to be a good friend, but as you said, he saw Ryan as a superhero of sorts from the beginning... I very strongly believe that, in the second season and beyond, the line between Ryan Atwood and Kid Chino was extremely blurred... it was just too much to see Ryan as an empty shell who couldn't evenr aise an eyebrow in question or in amusement... hopefully Seth's POV will further explain his motivations for his actions...
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 10:13 pm (UTC)The fact that Kirsten is consumed with a sense of guilt and loss and plagued by her self-doubts about what she did and what she never did and now can never say, remedy or change with Ryan is very balanced by her focus on Ryan, being aware that he is still a person, someone who should still matter to her and her family and someone who needs attention, care, love and to be engaged in even the most basic interaction. Thankfully, she, at least, recognizes that his needs had been sadly ignored before meeting the Cohens, still neglected afterwards and that the horrible truth is that his worst trauma happened while on her/their watch. Still, she isn't driven only by guilt to compensate, but out of the knowledge that he deserves and needs contact and is still a very important person worth every struggle to help in any way possible. Turning her back on him now would make her worse than all the Atwoods rolled into one.
For savior Sandy to face the daily consequences would have to be a near impossibility until he could get some perspective. If Ryan knew that Sandy had fled and couldn't handle the sight of him- of what Sandy felt he had directly caused- I wonder how he'd feel or if he could begin to process that?
Seth might want to support Ryan, but there relationship has always been so unequal and he needs Ryan to be his sounding board, super hero, confidant, and all the people he's always imagined rolled into one. That was always a tall order for one overwhelmed, traumatized, alienated, confused kid even under far different circumstances.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 08:23 pm (UTC)The reading (good choices) and the gradual bonding between Kirsten and Ryan actually, tragically, nurtures a connection that was missing before. Suddenly, she's the one who isn't judging or imposing an image on him for her own reasons, but seeing him and accepting that- even if she thought she was just willing it at first.
It's a tremendous challenge to have Ryan visible as this chapter progresses, but you succeed and I was able to gradually watch and feel him emerge in glimpses and longer portrayals. You managed to convey his demeanor and mannerisms and the qualities that make him uniquely Ryan despite it all. And, of course, there's Emily too!
This POV sort of strikes me as almost an affirmation of love and a testament to how much Kirsten- first of all- and then the other Cohens, care for Ryan and how committed they are to him. While it's disappointing that they needed the signal from him and only Kirsten could see that, they rallied for him and unlike the Atwoods, they regrouped, returned and didn't abandon him.
This was so poignant and just littered with so many revelations from the past and present that intersect in such a meaningful way in such a thought-provoking portrait. And how could Ryan not be everyone's favorite patient?
Again, I'm very intrigued to see where you go from here and just what Ryan is able to accomplish over time and how everyone in the different roles is involved and perceives the ordeal.
Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 09:22 pm (UTC)Kirsten's at the point of accepting anything, any connection to Ryan, any possible response from him... And Ryan's eyes have always been expressive, so I could easily picture it as he slowly came back more and more... and yes! Emily appeared! lol...
Sandy and Seth both, in a way, abandoned him, but they came back once they knew he was still there... Seth believed in Kirsten when she said Ryan was still there inside and he saw the signs of it... Sandy came back when he found out and he saw it immediately... the Atwoods wouldn't have gathered around him at all... if I had included Dawn in this at all, it would have been her showing up briefly right after, then leaving, and if she ever came back it would only be when/if Ryan was back up on his feet and 'normal' again... and she would have been making it about her, crying and sobbing about her baby, even as she abandoned him... Kirsten cries for Ryan, but she's well aware that it's about him, not her, and she tries to be strong, something Dawn could never manage...
And of coruse you're right, how could everyone not adore him? lol... even if he wasn't quiet and still because of the damage, he'd still be polite and nice...
Seth's POV is next, then Summer's... I even have a Ryan POV planned... plus as I said above, I plan on having it cycle around for a second round of POVs from everyone... so this story will run it's course and reveal how much of a recovery Ryan will make...
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 10:25 pm (UTC)Ryan's eyes are amazingly expressive. I've never seen anyone who could both mask or convey so much emotion with so much depth and clarity. It's almost unnerving when he chooses to be intense and it's heartbreaking when he lets the vulnerability show. Between the use of his eyes and even subtle changes in his face, he can literally spring to life and transform himself in an instant, while reeling those within sight right in with him. He would certainly be irresistible. All it would take would be for someone to demonstrate that he wasn't hopeless and he wasn't being abandoned, discarded and forgotten. When he's treated with respect, dignity and humanity, his profound will to live is only fueled more intensely. All it takes is active engagement. He was ignored, devalued, minimized, trivialized and cast aside too much before. No matter what he can truly recall, those events have left their imprint.
The other perspectives will be illuminating and heartfelt too, I'm sure. As for what happens to Ryan, even small victories are major miracles. With his spirit, resiliency, survival instinct and ability to adapt repeatedly, he is the perfect candidate to devote himself to making some measurable gains no matter how painful the process. In terms of recovery, I can't imagine him making anything approaching a full one, but I could see him confounding everyone with progress no one dared to hope for when they had no expectations. Even being able to connect in the moment is, as you note, a gift and a miracle.