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missmara13Since I'm not updating my The OC fics tonight, I thought I'd treat everyone to a bit of original... it's meant as dark and creepy and freaky... harsh language... harsher situation... all original, my twisted idea... lol I put a couple things in brackets (like this) to indicate what the visuals would be if it was filmed... obviously it would be a short film, but... lol... hopefully that won't be too distracting...
(Close up on the face of David. He is in his mid to alte 30's, and would be good looking if he wasn't dirty and unshaven. His face is lit by a dim light, just enough to see him by but not show his enviroment)
Not long to go before David would be dead, and it would be over once and for all, he could finally be at peace and not have to suffer.
"You are such a weak little baby," a scratchy male voice taunted David. "You can do everything that you did, but a simple little thing like me makes you glad to die?"
"Shut the fuck up," David mumbled.
"You tortured dozens of people, then buried every single one of them alive. Left them an air pipe so they could breath and you could hear them beg while they starved to death. And I manage to make you want to die," the voice continued. "I'm honored."
"Go away!" David pleaded in a half sob.
"How the mighty have fallen! From tormenting the innocent while they begged and pleaded for salvation, to doing your own begging," the voice said with a harsh laugh. "But are you sure you want me to go? I could save you, David. I could help you. All you have to do is admit everything you did, list all their names, and you can be free. Until the cops find you at least."
"Fuck you!" David screamed, rage overriding his fear. "You don't understand why I did it... you don't understand how good it feels..."
"I know how good it feels to listen to you beg," the voice said. "I know how I will always remember how I made David Holland, the great serial killer, beg."
"I never should have dug you up," David said, angry.
"You're stupidity was my gain, Davey..."
(The view pulls back from David, and seems to be in some sort of pipe. It reaches the top and we find a young man, maybe early 20's, sitting on the floor beside a freshly dug grave in an unfinished basement. The young man is covered in dirt and grime, and has a partially healed gash on his forehead, dried blood covering the side of his face and staining his blonde hair. A large pipe sticks up out of the grave, and scattered around are about another dozen graves without pipes.)
"Please, let me out," David said, his voice drifting up through the pipe.
"Isn't that what I said?" the younger man asked. "And you did dig me up, and open the box... and you pulled me out and told me... you told me I was braver than the others, so I could... I could be you partner."
"We can still be partners," David said, pleading. "I'll teach you everything..."
"I think you've taught me enough, David," the younger man said. "Except... I don't exactly like the idea of listening to you starve to death and start knawing on your own hand like you made me listen to Katie and Ben do... You never should have dug me up, David. Because guess what? I'm stronger than you. I can walk away without hearing the ending."
"No! Leo, no, please!" David pleaded.
Leo picked a metal cap from the floor and slowly turned it over in his hands. "Goodbye, David," he called down the pipe.
"No! Please don't do..." David screamed, but his words were muffled as Leo screwed the metal cap onto the pipe.
Leo slowly stood, using a shovel to brace himself, then turned it over to look at the much fresher blood on the edge of the blade. "Goodbye, David," he repeated before dropping the shovel and walking up the stairs, leaning heavily against one wall.
Don't ask where it came from... I was reading some kinda dark fic in between writing down some notes for 'With A Whimper', and this popped into my head... like it, hate it, whatever. Feel free to comment or not. Obviously I wouldn't neccesarily condone the actions of either party in this thing, but... it's just a delisciously dark little thing... lol... I'm honestly not this dark and disturbed of a person in real life...
I think I need a non-The OC Icon for anytime I'm in the mood to write something like this again... lol
Later.
(Close up on the face of David. He is in his mid to alte 30's, and would be good looking if he wasn't dirty and unshaven. His face is lit by a dim light, just enough to see him by but not show his enviroment)
Not long to go before David would be dead, and it would be over once and for all, he could finally be at peace and not have to suffer.
"You are such a weak little baby," a scratchy male voice taunted David. "You can do everything that you did, but a simple little thing like me makes you glad to die?"
"Shut the fuck up," David mumbled.
"You tortured dozens of people, then buried every single one of them alive. Left them an air pipe so they could breath and you could hear them beg while they starved to death. And I manage to make you want to die," the voice continued. "I'm honored."
"Go away!" David pleaded in a half sob.
"How the mighty have fallen! From tormenting the innocent while they begged and pleaded for salvation, to doing your own begging," the voice said with a harsh laugh. "But are you sure you want me to go? I could save you, David. I could help you. All you have to do is admit everything you did, list all their names, and you can be free. Until the cops find you at least."
"Fuck you!" David screamed, rage overriding his fear. "You don't understand why I did it... you don't understand how good it feels..."
"I know how good it feels to listen to you beg," the voice said. "I know how I will always remember how I made David Holland, the great serial killer, beg."
"I never should have dug you up," David said, angry.
"You're stupidity was my gain, Davey..."
(The view pulls back from David, and seems to be in some sort of pipe. It reaches the top and we find a young man, maybe early 20's, sitting on the floor beside a freshly dug grave in an unfinished basement. The young man is covered in dirt and grime, and has a partially healed gash on his forehead, dried blood covering the side of his face and staining his blonde hair. A large pipe sticks up out of the grave, and scattered around are about another dozen graves without pipes.)
"Please, let me out," David said, his voice drifting up through the pipe.
"Isn't that what I said?" the younger man asked. "And you did dig me up, and open the box... and you pulled me out and told me... you told me I was braver than the others, so I could... I could be you partner."
"We can still be partners," David said, pleading. "I'll teach you everything..."
"I think you've taught me enough, David," the younger man said. "Except... I don't exactly like the idea of listening to you starve to death and start knawing on your own hand like you made me listen to Katie and Ben do... You never should have dug me up, David. Because guess what? I'm stronger than you. I can walk away without hearing the ending."
"No! Leo, no, please!" David pleaded.
Leo picked a metal cap from the floor and slowly turned it over in his hands. "Goodbye, David," he called down the pipe.
"No! Please don't do..." David screamed, but his words were muffled as Leo screwed the metal cap onto the pipe.
Leo slowly stood, using a shovel to brace himself, then turned it over to look at the much fresher blood on the edge of the blade. "Goodbye, David," he repeated before dropping the shovel and walking up the stairs, leaning heavily against one wall.
Don't ask where it came from... I was reading some kinda dark fic in between writing down some notes for 'With A Whimper', and this popped into my head... like it, hate it, whatever. Feel free to comment or not. Obviously I wouldn't neccesarily condone the actions of either party in this thing, but... it's just a delisciously dark little thing... lol... I'm honestly not this dark and disturbed of a person in real life...
I think I need a non-The OC Icon for anytime I'm in the mood to write something like this again... lol
Later.
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Date: 2006-12-06 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 10:47 pm (UTC)Payback's a bitch. I guess that would say it all, or at least that was first thing in my mind when I finished this.
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Date: 2006-12-06 11:20 pm (UTC)That was pretty much my thought as I wrote it... lol... and it leaves it kinda open ended on whether David really dies or if Leo tells the cops where to find him and he ends up in jail instead...
There's actually another scene I wanna write that comes after this... if this little scene was the end of the movie, then the one I wanna write would be the bonus scene after the credits... lol
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Date: 2006-12-09 12:24 am (UTC)