With A Whimper (Part Twenty One)
Dec. 5th, 2006 12:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmara13Title: With A Whimper (Part Twenty One)
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, death, language, blood. Did I mention violence and death? And Blood? lol
Summary: Most of the world is either dead or Crazy, but in California a group of survivors tries to find a way to avoid both fates.
Notes: Short chapter, but it's got a lot of goodness stuffed in.
PART TWENTY ONE
Ryan stayed out on the dock for the rest of the day, occasionally moving his gaze from the water to watch the others start emptying out the cabins. Kirsten brought him a sandwich midday, but everyone else mostly left him alone. Finally, as the sun started to get low in the sky and everyone else was gathered in the living room organizing what they had raided from the cabins, Ryan came in on his crutches, looking tired and a little defeated.
"I'm not going on the raids, I'm a liability. I'm not gonna argue about it," he said before starting up the stairs.
"Ryan, you should eat..." Emily began.
"I'm not hungry," Ryan said as he continued up the stairs and into his room. He had just gotten settled on the bed when the door opened and Trey came in, a can of soda in one hand and a sandwich in the other. "I said I'm not..."
"Humor them," Trey said, sitting down in a chair and kicking off his shoes before resting his feet on the edge of the bed. "I volunteered to go on the raids," he said.
"Good, you'll probably be as good at it as me," Ryan replied with a sigh. "Just promise me you'll be careful. I think I could manage to deal with losing anyone else, but if something happened to you... I only just got you back."
"I promise, I'm gonna come back," Trey said, putting his feet on the floor again and leaning forward. "I've got plans, little brother, and they don't involve dying on a supply run."
"What do they involve?" Ryan asked, laying down and turning on his side to face Trey. "Sex with Lindsay?" he teased.
"Yeah, maybe," Trey said. "When it's not so life and death every second. But I was thinking more along the lines of just staying alive and getting to grow old."
"I might copy that plan," Ryan agreed.
"Good," Trey said. They sat in silence for a moment, then Trey lightly kicked Ryan's leg. "You know, that girl of yours is freaking out that she upset you so much."
Ryan sighed. "Trey, I killed somebody in Newport who wasn't a Crazy," he finally said. "I shut down for a while right after, but I had to pull myself together so we could all stay safe. And today... I just couldn't hold it together anymore. The argument was just the trigger, the rest of it... the reason I stayed out there all day, was me trying to process."
Trey was quiet for a long moment, slumped in the chair. "Who was it?" he finally asked quietly. "The non-Crazy you killed."
"Kaitlin's dad," Ryan replied softly. "I shot him. Right in front of her. He was... he was trying to get my gun from me, and... and it went off..."
"Then you didn't kill him, it doesn't count," Trey said.
"Trey..."
"If he'd gotten the gun, would he have shot you?"
"Probably, but..."
"But nothing. If he'd gotten it, you'd be dead. You didn't mean to kill him, it just happened, and anyway it was him or you."
Ryan sighed again. "We need you out on the supply runs," he finally said. "But I don't want you out there. I want you here..."
"You can still shoot, and there'll be at least one other shooter here to help you in case anything happens..."
"I don't give a damn about that," Ryan snapped. "I thought you were dead, Trey. And then suddenly I knew you weren't, but you were working with the son of a bitch who shot me..."
"I didn't know..."
"I know," Ryan said. "But... you're my brother, Trey. You're the only blood I've got left. I don't want you out there where it's not safe. I want you here, with me, safe."
"If you don't want me to go, I won't go," Trey promised. "Just say the word."
"I... I can't," Ryan said. "I can't keep doing this, Trey. I'm 16 fucking years old, and I'm in charge of keeping all these people alive, and... and it's too fucking much."
"Then stop," Trey said, leaning forward again. "Stop being in charge and let someone else handle all this shit."
"And then everyone dies and it's my fault," Ryan said, pulling his legs against his chest and trying to ignore the pain it cause din his injured leg.
"Shit, you still know how to go on a guilt trip, huh?" Trey asked, gently shoving Ryan's shoulder until the younger boy moved to make room. Then, Trey stretched out on the bed beside Ryan, staring up at the ceiling as he put his hadns behind his head and lazily crossed his ankles. "Look, like you said, you're 16 fucking years old. You're a fucking baby. You shouldn't be worrying about this shit, but there's a hell of a lot of other shit you shouldn't have ever been worrying about. Like stealing Ma's paycheck and cashing it before she did, just so we could eat and have power and water. Or figuring out if her latest boyfriend was okay or if he was gonna hit us, all so we'd know if it was safe to go home at night. But you always did that shit because you're Ryan and you worry about that kinda shit."
"That was helpful," Ryan snorted, but he did stretch out again, trying to mimic Trey's pose but only managing to get his good arm under his head, the other he left on his stomach.
"Glad to be of service," Trey replied with a smirk, turning his head and catching Ryan's annoyed look. But at the same time, under the irritation, Trey could still see the glimmer of the hero worship Ryan had once held for him. And that was enough to encourage him. "I've got faith in you, little brother. You'll figure all this out, and you'll do what needs to be done. Just remember, I'm right here if you want help doing that. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thanks," Ryan whispered.
"Anytime," Trey agreed, offering Ryan a soft smile, the kind he had always reserved for his brother. "We're in this together. Remember that."
To Be Continued...
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, death, language, blood. Did I mention violence and death? And Blood? lol
Summary: Most of the world is either dead or Crazy, but in California a group of survivors tries to find a way to avoid both fates.
Notes: Short chapter, but it's got a lot of goodness stuffed in.
PART TWENTY ONE
Ryan stayed out on the dock for the rest of the day, occasionally moving his gaze from the water to watch the others start emptying out the cabins. Kirsten brought him a sandwich midday, but everyone else mostly left him alone. Finally, as the sun started to get low in the sky and everyone else was gathered in the living room organizing what they had raided from the cabins, Ryan came in on his crutches, looking tired and a little defeated.
"I'm not going on the raids, I'm a liability. I'm not gonna argue about it," he said before starting up the stairs.
"Ryan, you should eat..." Emily began.
"I'm not hungry," Ryan said as he continued up the stairs and into his room. He had just gotten settled on the bed when the door opened and Trey came in, a can of soda in one hand and a sandwich in the other. "I said I'm not..."
"Humor them," Trey said, sitting down in a chair and kicking off his shoes before resting his feet on the edge of the bed. "I volunteered to go on the raids," he said.
"Good, you'll probably be as good at it as me," Ryan replied with a sigh. "Just promise me you'll be careful. I think I could manage to deal with losing anyone else, but if something happened to you... I only just got you back."
"I promise, I'm gonna come back," Trey said, putting his feet on the floor again and leaning forward. "I've got plans, little brother, and they don't involve dying on a supply run."
"What do they involve?" Ryan asked, laying down and turning on his side to face Trey. "Sex with Lindsay?" he teased.
"Yeah, maybe," Trey said. "When it's not so life and death every second. But I was thinking more along the lines of just staying alive and getting to grow old."
"I might copy that plan," Ryan agreed.
"Good," Trey said. They sat in silence for a moment, then Trey lightly kicked Ryan's leg. "You know, that girl of yours is freaking out that she upset you so much."
Ryan sighed. "Trey, I killed somebody in Newport who wasn't a Crazy," he finally said. "I shut down for a while right after, but I had to pull myself together so we could all stay safe. And today... I just couldn't hold it together anymore. The argument was just the trigger, the rest of it... the reason I stayed out there all day, was me trying to process."
Trey was quiet for a long moment, slumped in the chair. "Who was it?" he finally asked quietly. "The non-Crazy you killed."
"Kaitlin's dad," Ryan replied softly. "I shot him. Right in front of her. He was... he was trying to get my gun from me, and... and it went off..."
"Then you didn't kill him, it doesn't count," Trey said.
"Trey..."
"If he'd gotten the gun, would he have shot you?"
"Probably, but..."
"But nothing. If he'd gotten it, you'd be dead. You didn't mean to kill him, it just happened, and anyway it was him or you."
Ryan sighed again. "We need you out on the supply runs," he finally said. "But I don't want you out there. I want you here..."
"You can still shoot, and there'll be at least one other shooter here to help you in case anything happens..."
"I don't give a damn about that," Ryan snapped. "I thought you were dead, Trey. And then suddenly I knew you weren't, but you were working with the son of a bitch who shot me..."
"I didn't know..."
"I know," Ryan said. "But... you're my brother, Trey. You're the only blood I've got left. I don't want you out there where it's not safe. I want you here, with me, safe."
"If you don't want me to go, I won't go," Trey promised. "Just say the word."
"I... I can't," Ryan said. "I can't keep doing this, Trey. I'm 16 fucking years old, and I'm in charge of keeping all these people alive, and... and it's too fucking much."
"Then stop," Trey said, leaning forward again. "Stop being in charge and let someone else handle all this shit."
"And then everyone dies and it's my fault," Ryan said, pulling his legs against his chest and trying to ignore the pain it cause din his injured leg.
"Shit, you still know how to go on a guilt trip, huh?" Trey asked, gently shoving Ryan's shoulder until the younger boy moved to make room. Then, Trey stretched out on the bed beside Ryan, staring up at the ceiling as he put his hadns behind his head and lazily crossed his ankles. "Look, like you said, you're 16 fucking years old. You're a fucking baby. You shouldn't be worrying about this shit, but there's a hell of a lot of other shit you shouldn't have ever been worrying about. Like stealing Ma's paycheck and cashing it before she did, just so we could eat and have power and water. Or figuring out if her latest boyfriend was okay or if he was gonna hit us, all so we'd know if it was safe to go home at night. But you always did that shit because you're Ryan and you worry about that kinda shit."
"That was helpful," Ryan snorted, but he did stretch out again, trying to mimic Trey's pose but only managing to get his good arm under his head, the other he left on his stomach.
"Glad to be of service," Trey replied with a smirk, turning his head and catching Ryan's annoyed look. But at the same time, under the irritation, Trey could still see the glimmer of the hero worship Ryan had once held for him. And that was enough to encourage him. "I've got faith in you, little brother. You'll figure all this out, and you'll do what needs to be done. Just remember, I'm right here if you want help doing that. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thanks," Ryan whispered.
"Anytime," Trey agreed, offering Ryan a soft smile, the kind he had always reserved for his brother. "We're in this together. Remember that."
To Be Continued...
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Date: 2006-12-05 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 01:17 am (UTC)