missmara13

I was feeling really low and messed up when I made my last entry. I'd had a great day, then it crashed to a low with the arguement. And the friend's status had gone to 'away' and she hadn't responded to the last thing I'd said, so I was really... freaking out.

Still haven't talked to her today, so I don't know what the standing is at the moment. Is she pissed at me for blurting out that I'm tired of being told how I have to write my stories? Did she disappear for some other reason and I just finbally went to bed before she got back? I have no idea at all. Hopefully she'll get on today so we can try to talk this out.

Sorry for the drama, folks, but if I tried to bottle it up it would have just gotten worse until I totally snapped and possibly really did quit writing, which is the last thing I want.

There was one plus that happened last night. After my freaking out. And after my posting. I went to chekc my Yahoo Mail and find an e-mail from the archivist for my favorite Enterprise Fanfic archive, the Warp 5 Archive at EntCommunity. She was asking if she could archive my Trip/Hoshi fanfics on Warp5. It made me feela lot better to read that e-mail, so I was able to fall asleep instead of spending all night tossing and turning because I was upset.

I'm still upset, still worried I'm going to or already have lost a friend, but I'm much calmer now then I was last night. I think what made it the worst is it's like a month short of the 1 year anniversary of the last time I had a big fight with a friend over something that, in the grand scheme of things, is stupid.

Maybe later I'll have a more cheerful and happy entry to post. I hope so.

Later.