Never Again (Chapter Three)
Mar. 2nd, 2008 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmara13Title: Never Again
Author: Mara
Fandom: The OC/One Tree Hill
Word Count: 1850
Rating: R
Warnings: Some violence (Mostly in flashbacks), language, possibly sex
Summary: "You hit me, even once, and I swear to god it'll be the last time you ever lay a finger on me."
Notes: This turned into a long chapter... Ryan lets out one hell of a lot of pent up anger in this one... Also has a banner now...
Never Again: Chapter Three
"You don't have to do this," Brooke said quietly as Ryan turned the jeep into the gated community. "You know I won't think any less of you if we turn around and leave."
"I'll think less of me," Ryan replied with a sigh. "I've gotta try, you know?"
"Well, I'm here," Brooke said. "And I've got pregnancy hormones raging, so I'm ready to kick his ass if he upsets you."
Ryan smiled as he drove up the Cohen's driveway and put on the parking brake. "Okay," he said to himself, even as he didn't make a move to get out.
"You are such a chicken," Brooke said, making him look over at her, a mix of annoyance and amusement on his face.
"You are so mean," he replied, kissing her then taking a steadying breath. He'd unbuckled his seat belt and was about to get out when a car pulled into the driveway. When the doors opened, Ryan froze, looking over at Kirsten and Summer as they hurried to... to help Sandy out of the car.
The man looked tired... pale... weak... sick.
"Oh god," Ryan whispered, unable to look away as he watched the two women struggle to help Sandy stay on his feet when he stumbled slightly. He was reaching to rebuckle his belt and leave when Sandy looked up and spotted him, eyes going wide with surprise and maybe... relief?
"We can leave if you want," Brooke said firmly. "I won't think any less of you."
"I think I need to do this," Ryan said, releasing his seat belt again and climbing out of the jeep. "Just... wait here, okay?"
"Right here," Brooke promised. "I love you," she added one more time.
Ryan smiled slightly and closed the door before walking around to face the Cohens and Summer. "Hi," he said.
"Chino?" Summer asked, surprised.
"Ryan... you... you're here?" Sandy said.
"What's wrong with you?" Ryan asked. "I mean..."
"They found a tumor on my liver," Sandy said. "Poetic justice, huh? The drinking didn't kill me, but the cancer on my liver is."
"Stop thinking so negatively," Kirsten replied, tearing her gaze from Ryan to look at Sandy. "The doctors..."
"I've got a 50/50 chance," Sandy said, still watching Ryan.
Ryan took a deep, shaky, breath. "I didn't want this," he said. "I will never be able to forgive you, but I didn't want this."
"You're the one who walked out when we needed you," Kirsten said.
"I don't need this," Ryan said, turning away again.
"Running away again?" Kirsten said. "Just because things aren't easy..."
"You think it was easy?!" Ryan snapped. "Being 17 and working 18 hour days at three jobs so I could make ends meet? Having to get my GED and skip college because high school and college weren't as important as eating? It was damn hard, Kirsten! I struggled, and I fought for everything I have, and I came here because as much as I will never forgive him, as much as I hate him, I still love him because he is the first person who ever had faith in me! Seth said he was dying and I wanted to say goodbye!"
"You saw Seth?" Summer said. "He didn't..."
"I'm better than this," Ryan said. "I just want you to know, Sandy, that I didn't need you or your support. I did just fine on my own. I am not worthless and useless like you said. I'm the manager of one of the most popular restraunts in LA, I have a good life, with a girlfriend who I love more than anything, and you will never meet my kid because I will never put my child through what I went through. My kid will never know what it's like to live in a house with a violent drunk!"
"What is wrong with you?" Kirsten demanded. "He's sick, and you..."
"Forget it," Ryan said. "Forget I ever came here. Hell, forget you ever knew me, because I sure as hell deserve better than the shit I went through my last few weeks here, and so does my family." With that he turned away again.
"Ryan..." Sandy began.
"No!" Ryan said, turning back to face him. "You don't get to use the pleading tone of voice with me, Sandy! Not after the shit you put me through!"
"Ry?" Brooke said, stepping out of the jeep.
"We're leaving," Ryan told her.
"I'm sorry," Sandy said. "I know that will never be enough, and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am sorry."
"When I was laying there, bleeding, you told me you were done drinking, Sandy, and I believed you. I lied for you because I wanted to believe that you meant it," Ryan said, struggling to keep his voice from breaking. "Less than two weeks, and you were drunk and telling me how I destroyed your family. I was 17, I was a kid, and it took me a long time to realize it, but I didn't deserve that."
"You didn't," Sandy agreed. "I... I want you to know I am sober now. Going on 5 years."
"And two years too late," Ryan replied. "I'm glad your sober, and I hope you pull through this, but... but I don't trust you anymore. That trust died 7 years ago."
"Don't blame them for what I did, please," Sandy said.
"I don't," Ryan said. "I blame them for what they did."
"We didn't do anything!" Kirsten said.
"Exactly," Ryan said. "He'd been hitting you for weeks, and you not only stayed with him, but left us alone to deal withg his anger at you for cheating on him. I saw the look on your face at the hospital that night, Kirsten, and you can never convince me that you didn't know that at least the bruise on my face was from him, and you still stayed with him. You didn't tell him to stop drinking, you didn't... not only did you not even try to protect me, you didn't try to protect your real kid either..."
"You are..."
"No, I'm not," Ryan said. "And Seth... Sandy was already starting in on how worthless I was when Seth walked out and left me alone with him that last night I was here. Seth knew and he left me to deal with it. Because as much as he said I was his brother... I wasn't. I was the guy who took care of his problems for him because he refused to grow up and do it himself."
"That's not fair..." Kirsten began.
"I was 17 and I was the only responsible adult in that house," Ryan said bitterly. "I was a kid, and I was expected to take care of everything!"
"No you weren't!" Kirsten said.
"He was," Summer said. "God, we all knew what was happening, that you two were falling apart. When Seth came over to my house that night, he told me about what Sandy ahd been saying to Ryan for months, and I told him to get out, then I told my dad and we came over here, we saw what was happening, and..."
"What?" Kirsten asked.
"Ryan had a split lip and his eye was swelling shut, but he had still lugged Sandy to the couch and got him settled, and he was still trying to clean up the break picture frame that Sandy had thrown at him," Summer said. "Where do you think he went that first night after he left, Kirsten? Dad made him come home with us and get some sleep, and... and I don't know what they talked about the next day, but Ryan left and dad told me he wasn't worried. Not anymore."
"He loaned me some money to get a place to live in LA," Ryan said. "A couple thousand dollars. Which I have paid back in full. He helped me get to a place where I could handle things."
"You never said anything," Kirsten said to Summer.
"Why would I?" Summer asked, shaking her head in disgust. "You hung your head and gave up on... on everything. Seth was the same way. I tried to tell him, and his big worry was that I'd tell people Sandy was a drunk. Not that Ryan had been getting hit and needed help. God, the only reason Sandy ever got sober is because of Sophie Rose..."
"Who... who's Sophie Rose?" Ryan asked.
Another car pulled up and had barely stopped before the door opened and a blonde little girl of about 5 jumped out to run to Sandy. "Daddy!" she said happily as she threw her arms around his legs.
"Sophie Rose, there's someone here you should meet," Summer said, bending down to pick the little girl up. "This is Ryan, your other big brother."
"I saw your pictures!" Sophie Rose said, smiling. "Daddy has 'em on his desk so he doesn't forget, but I don't know what he's suppose to remember."
"To be a better man than I was," Sandy said, one hand going to smooth her hair.
Ryan swallowed convulsively and opened his mouth, then closed it again as he looked at the little girl, unsure. "Hi," he finally said.
Sophie Rose tilted her head to one side, frowning. "How come your sad? Why's everybody sad? Daddy's home, and Ryan's here to visit..."
"Ryan doesn't want to be here anymore than we want him here," Seth said as he got out of the car that had brought Sophie Rose home.
"You're the one who showed up at my door to guilt trip me into coming," Ryan replied, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "But you know what? I'm going."
"Chino..." Summer began.
"Your dad's got my number, Roberts, I'll let him know it's okay to give it to you," Ryan said. "I'd really like to be in touch with you again, if that's okay."
"Don't leave it like this," Kirsten pleaded. "Come in, have lunch with us. Both of you."
Ryan felt Brooke's hand slide into his, and he took a steadying breath before shaking his head. "I can't," he said. "Too much... too much happened, I can't..."
"Please..." Kirsten said.
"Don't you dare try to guilt trip him," Brooke said. "Not after the way you people treated him before he left. You don't get to ask him for anything."
"Let's go," Ryan said, squeezing Brooke's hand again before letting go of it and walking around the jeep to get in.
"Ryan?" Sophie Rose said, confused.
Ryan turned back to her, trying to smile. "I'm really glad I got to meet you, Soph," he said. "Be good, okay?" he added before getting in. He put the keys in the ignition but didn't start it as he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "I'm an asshole," he whispered.
Brooke reached over to put her hand on the back of his neck, rubbing slightly. "I love you," she said softly. "And I wouldn't love someone who wasn't a good person."
Ryan glanced over at her and smiled sadly. "I love you, too," he said.
To Be Continued...
Author: Mara
Fandom: The OC/One Tree Hill
Word Count: 1850
Rating: R
Warnings: Some violence (Mostly in flashbacks), language, possibly sex
Summary: "You hit me, even once, and I swear to god it'll be the last time you ever lay a finger on me."
Notes: This turned into a long chapter... Ryan lets out one hell of a lot of pent up anger in this one... Also has a banner now...
Never Again: Chapter Three
"You don't have to do this," Brooke said quietly as Ryan turned the jeep into the gated community. "You know I won't think any less of you if we turn around and leave."
"I'll think less of me," Ryan replied with a sigh. "I've gotta try, you know?"
"Well, I'm here," Brooke said. "And I've got pregnancy hormones raging, so I'm ready to kick his ass if he upsets you."
Ryan smiled as he drove up the Cohen's driveway and put on the parking brake. "Okay," he said to himself, even as he didn't make a move to get out.
"You are such a chicken," Brooke said, making him look over at her, a mix of annoyance and amusement on his face.
"You are so mean," he replied, kissing her then taking a steadying breath. He'd unbuckled his seat belt and was about to get out when a car pulled into the driveway. When the doors opened, Ryan froze, looking over at Kirsten and Summer as they hurried to... to help Sandy out of the car.
The man looked tired... pale... weak... sick.
"Oh god," Ryan whispered, unable to look away as he watched the two women struggle to help Sandy stay on his feet when he stumbled slightly. He was reaching to rebuckle his belt and leave when Sandy looked up and spotted him, eyes going wide with surprise and maybe... relief?
"We can leave if you want," Brooke said firmly. "I won't think any less of you."
"I think I need to do this," Ryan said, releasing his seat belt again and climbing out of the jeep. "Just... wait here, okay?"
"Right here," Brooke promised. "I love you," she added one more time.
Ryan smiled slightly and closed the door before walking around to face the Cohens and Summer. "Hi," he said.
"Chino?" Summer asked, surprised.
"Ryan... you... you're here?" Sandy said.
"What's wrong with you?" Ryan asked. "I mean..."
"They found a tumor on my liver," Sandy said. "Poetic justice, huh? The drinking didn't kill me, but the cancer on my liver is."
"Stop thinking so negatively," Kirsten replied, tearing her gaze from Ryan to look at Sandy. "The doctors..."
"I've got a 50/50 chance," Sandy said, still watching Ryan.
Ryan took a deep, shaky, breath. "I didn't want this," he said. "I will never be able to forgive you, but I didn't want this."
"You're the one who walked out when we needed you," Kirsten said.
"I don't need this," Ryan said, turning away again.
"Running away again?" Kirsten said. "Just because things aren't easy..."
"You think it was easy?!" Ryan snapped. "Being 17 and working 18 hour days at three jobs so I could make ends meet? Having to get my GED and skip college because high school and college weren't as important as eating? It was damn hard, Kirsten! I struggled, and I fought for everything I have, and I came here because as much as I will never forgive him, as much as I hate him, I still love him because he is the first person who ever had faith in me! Seth said he was dying and I wanted to say goodbye!"
"You saw Seth?" Summer said. "He didn't..."
"I'm better than this," Ryan said. "I just want you to know, Sandy, that I didn't need you or your support. I did just fine on my own. I am not worthless and useless like you said. I'm the manager of one of the most popular restraunts in LA, I have a good life, with a girlfriend who I love more than anything, and you will never meet my kid because I will never put my child through what I went through. My kid will never know what it's like to live in a house with a violent drunk!"
"What is wrong with you?" Kirsten demanded. "He's sick, and you..."
"Forget it," Ryan said. "Forget I ever came here. Hell, forget you ever knew me, because I sure as hell deserve better than the shit I went through my last few weeks here, and so does my family." With that he turned away again.
"Ryan..." Sandy began.
"No!" Ryan said, turning back to face him. "You don't get to use the pleading tone of voice with me, Sandy! Not after the shit you put me through!"
"Ry?" Brooke said, stepping out of the jeep.
"We're leaving," Ryan told her.
"I'm sorry," Sandy said. "I know that will never be enough, and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am sorry."
"When I was laying there, bleeding, you told me you were done drinking, Sandy, and I believed you. I lied for you because I wanted to believe that you meant it," Ryan said, struggling to keep his voice from breaking. "Less than two weeks, and you were drunk and telling me how I destroyed your family. I was 17, I was a kid, and it took me a long time to realize it, but I didn't deserve that."
"You didn't," Sandy agreed. "I... I want you to know I am sober now. Going on 5 years."
"And two years too late," Ryan replied. "I'm glad your sober, and I hope you pull through this, but... but I don't trust you anymore. That trust died 7 years ago."
"Don't blame them for what I did, please," Sandy said.
"I don't," Ryan said. "I blame them for what they did."
"We didn't do anything!" Kirsten said.
"Exactly," Ryan said. "He'd been hitting you for weeks, and you not only stayed with him, but left us alone to deal withg his anger at you for cheating on him. I saw the look on your face at the hospital that night, Kirsten, and you can never convince me that you didn't know that at least the bruise on my face was from him, and you still stayed with him. You didn't tell him to stop drinking, you didn't... not only did you not even try to protect me, you didn't try to protect your real kid either..."
"You are..."
"No, I'm not," Ryan said. "And Seth... Sandy was already starting in on how worthless I was when Seth walked out and left me alone with him that last night I was here. Seth knew and he left me to deal with it. Because as much as he said I was his brother... I wasn't. I was the guy who took care of his problems for him because he refused to grow up and do it himself."
"That's not fair..." Kirsten began.
"I was 17 and I was the only responsible adult in that house," Ryan said bitterly. "I was a kid, and I was expected to take care of everything!"
"No you weren't!" Kirsten said.
"He was," Summer said. "God, we all knew what was happening, that you two were falling apart. When Seth came over to my house that night, he told me about what Sandy ahd been saying to Ryan for months, and I told him to get out, then I told my dad and we came over here, we saw what was happening, and..."
"What?" Kirsten asked.
"Ryan had a split lip and his eye was swelling shut, but he had still lugged Sandy to the couch and got him settled, and he was still trying to clean up the break picture frame that Sandy had thrown at him," Summer said. "Where do you think he went that first night after he left, Kirsten? Dad made him come home with us and get some sleep, and... and I don't know what they talked about the next day, but Ryan left and dad told me he wasn't worried. Not anymore."
"He loaned me some money to get a place to live in LA," Ryan said. "A couple thousand dollars. Which I have paid back in full. He helped me get to a place where I could handle things."
"You never said anything," Kirsten said to Summer.
"Why would I?" Summer asked, shaking her head in disgust. "You hung your head and gave up on... on everything. Seth was the same way. I tried to tell him, and his big worry was that I'd tell people Sandy was a drunk. Not that Ryan had been getting hit and needed help. God, the only reason Sandy ever got sober is because of Sophie Rose..."
"Who... who's Sophie Rose?" Ryan asked.
Another car pulled up and had barely stopped before the door opened and a blonde little girl of about 5 jumped out to run to Sandy. "Daddy!" she said happily as she threw her arms around his legs.
"Sophie Rose, there's someone here you should meet," Summer said, bending down to pick the little girl up. "This is Ryan, your other big brother."
"I saw your pictures!" Sophie Rose said, smiling. "Daddy has 'em on his desk so he doesn't forget, but I don't know what he's suppose to remember."
"To be a better man than I was," Sandy said, one hand going to smooth her hair.
Ryan swallowed convulsively and opened his mouth, then closed it again as he looked at the little girl, unsure. "Hi," he finally said.
Sophie Rose tilted her head to one side, frowning. "How come your sad? Why's everybody sad? Daddy's home, and Ryan's here to visit..."
"Ryan doesn't want to be here anymore than we want him here," Seth said as he got out of the car that had brought Sophie Rose home.
"You're the one who showed up at my door to guilt trip me into coming," Ryan replied, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "But you know what? I'm going."
"Chino..." Summer began.
"Your dad's got my number, Roberts, I'll let him know it's okay to give it to you," Ryan said. "I'd really like to be in touch with you again, if that's okay."
"Don't leave it like this," Kirsten pleaded. "Come in, have lunch with us. Both of you."
Ryan felt Brooke's hand slide into his, and he took a steadying breath before shaking his head. "I can't," he said. "Too much... too much happened, I can't..."
"Please..." Kirsten said.
"Don't you dare try to guilt trip him," Brooke said. "Not after the way you people treated him before he left. You don't get to ask him for anything."
"Let's go," Ryan said, squeezing Brooke's hand again before letting go of it and walking around the jeep to get in.
"Ryan?" Sophie Rose said, confused.
Ryan turned back to her, trying to smile. "I'm really glad I got to meet you, Soph," he said. "Be good, okay?" he added before getting in. He put the keys in the ignition but didn't start it as he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "I'm an asshole," he whispered.
Brooke reached over to put her hand on the back of his neck, rubbing slightly. "I love you," she said softly. "And I wouldn't love someone who wasn't a good person."
Ryan glanced over at her and smiled sadly. "I love you, too," he said.
To Be Continued...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 04:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 09:30 am (UTC)I totally loved this part, though I think I now really don't like Kirsten and Seth! Update some more soon!
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Date: 2008-03-03 01:55 pm (UTC)Poor guy. It seems like he at least has a stable relationship with Brooke, good for him.
Thanks for the awesome update!
no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-04 03:20 am (UTC)update soon!!
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Date: 2008-03-06 07:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-06 10:22 pm (UTC)Love it, thanks.
♥
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Date: 2008-04-03 07:11 pm (UTC)