Heavily Broken (Chapter Fifty Six)

[missmara13]

Title: Heavily Broken (Chapter Fifty Six)
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex, mentions of rape, violence. Language.
Summary: Ryan didn't call Sandy after Dawn kicked him out, but he still finds his way to the Cohen family.
Notes: I think I may have to make a banner for this fic, since Ryan and Summer broke up and will be apart for a while at least... lol...


Heavily Broken (Chapter Fifty Six)


Many thanks to chrissydechagny for the most excellent banner!

Sandy found him down on the beach, near where he'd sat after finding out Theresa was dead, and the older man just sank down into the sand beside him, not saying another.

"I told Holly first, at lunch, because I figured she'd understand better than anyone," Ryan said quietly after several long minutes. "And when we got back, Summer was waiting and she accused me of cheating on her with Holly. So I broke up with told her the truth, broke up with her, and I walked away. I just... I couldn't do school after all."

"It's okay, kid," Sandy said, slowly, hesitantly, reaching out to put a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Dr. Kim agreed that they wouldn't count any missed days this week, and she'd notify your teachers of a health crisis being the reason for your missing tests, so you can take them sometime during the summer. Get back on track for next year."

"I don't know what I'm suppose to do now, Sandy," Ryan said softly.

"We'll help you figure it out, kid," Sandy promised. "Come on, let's go home, everyone's worried about you..."

"They all know?"

"Yeah, your friends are at the house..."

"I don't wanna see them," Ryan said.

"Ryan..."

"I don't wanna see them," Ryan repeated. "I don't want to hear about how I need to forgive Summer for over reacting, or how I should have told her first instead of Holly, or how everything's going to be okay because it's not going to be fucking okay. I have HIV, Sandy. That son of a bitch raped me and gave me HIV. That is not okay, there is no reality where that is 'okay'."

"I'll call Kirsten, ask her to send everyone home," Sandy said slowly, gently. "Okay? We won't go home until she calls back that it's just her and Seth there."

"Okay," Ryan agreed, not moving even when Sandy started to get up.

"You wanna wait here until she gives us the all clear?" Sandy asked.

Ryan nodded and kept staring at the water, tuning Sandy out as he made the call and trying to pretend that the man's hand on his back wasn't bothering him. He focused on the sound of the water lapping on the shore, and felt his mind almost... disconnect. He stopped feeling the fear, the confusion, the anger, and just drifted. He came back to the sound of Sandy calling his name in a near panic, and shook his head. "Huh?"

"Why didn't you answer me?" Sandy said, his voice only slightly calmer now that Ryan was responding.

"Sorry," Ryan replied. "Did Kirsten call back yet?"

"Yeah, about five minutes ago," Sandy said. "Everyone's gone home."

"Then let's go," Ryan said, pushing himself up and brushing the sand off his jeans.

"Are you..." Sandy began, then stopped himself. "Besides the obvious, are you okay?"

Ryan paused, then shrugged. "Fine," he said. "I'm fine. Besides the obvious."

~~~

"There you are," Kirsten said as Ryan and Sandy walked in, hurrying over to give Ryan a hug. "Where were you? We were worried... are you alright?"

"Kirsten..." Sandy began.

"I'm okay," Ryan assured her, returning the hug. "It was just stupid of me to think I could handle school today. I'll be okay to go tomorrow..."

"No," Kirsten said, shaking her head. "Dr. Kim excused you for the rest of the year, she said you could make up any tests before the new year starts in the fall."

"But..."

"No buts," Kirsten said. "You shouldn't be having to worry about school when... when everything is still so new."

"Just say it, Kirsten," Ryan said. "When I just found out I have HIV and that I'm really not normal anymore." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm going to bed, get some sleep. Maybe... maybe I'll actually be able to function like a human being tomorrow." He paused and let out a harsh laugh. "After I take my meds," he added.

Kirsten nodded. "Okay," she said. "But don't be surprised if one of us comes out and checks on you later."

"Okay," Ryan said, starting to leave then turning back. "Thanks," he told them.

"For what, honey?" Kirsten asked.

Ryan shrugged. "For giving a damn."

They watched Ryan walk out to the poolhouse, then Kirsten turned to Sandy. "There has to be more we can do," she said.

"I wish there was," Sandy agreed, wrapping his arms around her.

~~~

Ryan woke with a start in the middle of the night and looked around in confusion, shrinking back when he saw a dark shape sitting on the edge of his bed, hand hovering where his shoulder had been moments ago. "What?" slipped out, and then the light came on and he blinked to clear his vision realizing it was Dawn on his bed. "Ma?"

"Get up and pack a bag, baby," Dawn said, smiling just a little too widely.

"What?" Ryan asked, still confused.

"I came to get you so we can go," Dawn said. "Come on, get up and get dressed.

"But..." Ryan began, sitting up.

"Now," Dawn said. "Those people don't wanna let us be a family, and I'm not letting a couple strangers who don't know me or my baby get in the way of..."

"Ma, slow down," Ryan said. "You don't..."

"Don't you want us to be a family?" Dawn asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"Of course, I've always wanted that, but it never happens," Ryan said.

"No, this time is different," Dawn said. "I met this guy in rehab, and we're gonna get married in Vegas and I couldn't do it without my baby there, and then we can all be a family, the three of us..."

"Ma, I've got school tomorrow..." Ryan said, momentarily forgetting that he was excused for the week.

"We'll enroll you somewhere for next year, tell 'em you missed because of moving..."

"Ma, just... slow down..."

"We don't have time to slow down!" Dawn said, a little louder than necessary. "We've gotta go before those people come out and try to take you away from me again!"

"They have guardianship, Ma, you can't just take me," Ryan said. "Technically it could be called kidnapping..."

"They stole you from me!"

"You threw me away!" Ryan said. "You left me, Ma! You packed up everything, dumped my stuff in a dumpster, and didn't look back until Mr. Nichols offered you money to take me back! Where was this loving ma then?"

"Shut your mouth," Dawn snapped. "No get dressed and get packed so we can go meet Rick."

"No," Ryan said, shaking his head. "I'm not going. I don't wanna go."

"Nonsense, I'm your mother, we're gonna be a family again!"

"We have never been a family, Ma! Me and Trey were the family! He taught me to walk, and talk, and ride a bike! He's been raising me since he was four years old because you and Dad were too fucking drunk to do it! I'm not gonna pretend it was any different, and I'm not gonna go with you!" He wasn't expecting her hand to lash out, smacking him across the mouth and making his teeth cut into his lip. "Fuck, Ma!"

"I've had enough of your smart mouth! Now get the fuck up..."

"What are you doing here, Dawn?" Sandy asked from the doorway, Kirsten right behind him. Sandy looked confused and half asleep, but Kirsten was wide awake and her anger was clear.

"Get the hell away from him," Kirsten said in a low, furious, voice. "How dare you come into my home and hit one of my boys?"

"He's not yours!" Dawn replied.

"I'm not yours either," Ryan said, taking advantage of her distraction to scramble away. "If I'm anybody's, then I'm Trey's because he raised me. Do you even know what my first word was? Where I learn to walk? What my favorite flavor of ice cream is? Or the one song that makes me calm when I'm upset? Do you know any of it?"

"I... your first word was Mama..." Dawn began, completely unsure.

"No," Ryan replied. "My first word was 'Trey'. Trey taught me to walk on a hotel room bed and on the balcony outside while you entertained 'friends' in the room. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. Lights by Journey always calms me down because it was playing on repeat in that diner the night we left dad, and when we got back on the road, Trey had it stuck in his head and kept singing it under his breath, and it lulled me to sleep," Ryan said in a rush. "Please, just go, and don't come back! Let me have a halfway decent life for however long I end up having!"

"What the hell does that mean?" Dawn asked.

"You think you can afford HIV meds, Ma?" Ryan asked. "The cocktail? Because yesterday morning I found out I was HIV Positive, and without the meds I'm gonna get sick and die really young. With them I might have a whole 32 years more of life before it kills me. Can you afford those meds, Ma? Are you gonna be able to take care of me if I don't have the meds and I get sick?"

"You're lying," Dawn said.

"I'm I also lying that I whored myself out to pay rent and buy food after you kicked me out? That one asshole refused to wear a condom and beat me until I couldn't argue, let alone move, before fucking me in an alley?" Ryan said. "He infected me, Ma. I'm sick, and... and the Cohens can afford the meds I need, and... and if you give a damn about me, you'll just leave me alone and not come back."

"You're my boy!" Dawn protested.

"I was never yours," Ryan said. "Please, Ma, just leave me alone."

"Dawn, we don't want to press charges, and if you leave now, we won't," Sandy said, more awake now. "But if you don't... I'm afraid we will call the police."

"Please, Ma, go," Ryan said. "I just... I can't deal with you, anymore. I can't sit around waiting for the day that I have to take care of you again when I'm barely able to keep myself from falling apart. I can't do it, and I'm begging you not to make me do it again."

"I'm not leaving without my son," Dawn said. "You call the cops, I'll tell them about how you've poisoned him against me."

"And I'll tell them how much I ever wanna see you again!" Ryan replied. "I love you, Ma, so damn much, but you don't want me until you were offered money! We can't be a family, Ma, it's not possible. So please, I'm asking you again, just go."

"No," Dawn replied.

"Fine, stay and wait for the police," Kirsten said. "Ryan, go inside the house, okay, honey?" she added, moving so that she could stay between Ryan and Dawn.

"You can't..." Dawn began, watching Ryan move to leave and trying to follow only to have Sandy block her path as well.

"I'm going to go sit with Ryan," Kirsten said, leaving Sandy to handle Dawn.

From their angle just inside the poolhouse doors, Sandy and Dawn could see Kirsten go inside and go up to Ryan, who turned and leaned his head against her shoulder, letting her arms wrap around him. Sandy glanced over at Dawn, seeing the hurt on her face. "If you leave now, maybe in a few years he'll be ready and willing to have a relationship with you," he said gently. "He's got a lot hitting him all at once, and a visit from the cops tonight isn't going to make any of it any easier. Let the kid have some time, Dawn."

"I only want what's best for him..."

"I know," Sandy said, pretending that he believed it. "Dawn, think of Ryan. We can help him more now."

Dawn finally nodded. "Fine," she said. "Rick wouldn't wanna deal with his bullshit anyway. I'm getting a fresh start in Albuquerque after me and Rick get hitched."

"Good for you," Sandy said, pretending he meant it. "We'll tell him you said goodbye."

"Yeah," Dawn said. "Yeah. It's for the best."

To Be Continued...

Comments

That was a great post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

I am curious to see how Ryan's friends react around him now, though they shouldn't act any different, because he is still the same person !!!!!!!! I am also wondering what will happen the next time Summer sees or talks to Ryan !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was surprised by Dawn showing up like she did. I hope this starts an agruement between Sandy, Kirsten and Caleb because of Caleb practically paying Dawn to take Ryan away !!!!!!!!!!! I have a question though. At first you said Dawn's boyfriend was named Eric, then it was Rick. I am just curious as to which it was, incase either make a return in this fic.

Re: That was a great post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[missmara13]

I fixed it... the name is 'Rick'... I just initially put 'Eric' as a place holder until I picked a name...

[katwoman76.livejournal.com]

Good for Ryan that he stood up to Dawn and let the Cohens support him in this.
But the story still depresses after the previous chapter.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure if I need therapy?
I'm still reading this even though I find it depressing beyond words.
What does that make me?
I always thought that I was the eternal optimist and maybe I keep reading because I think that something is going to get better but even I'm running out of hope.
But I'm glad that Ryan stood up to Dawn. So I'll take that as the little ray of goodness from this post.

[beachtree.livejournal.com]

I'm up way too late...

Good to see that this is more of an early S1 and S4 Sandy who is willing and able to listen. He seems to be in full supportive and protective mode. It's also gratifying to see a Kirsten who isn't hesitant at all to show her feelings with her actions, continue with the all-important physical contact (as Sandy does), and make her role in Ryan's life clear to all. There was such a problem in canon with the Cohens never directly saying anything meaningul to Ryan or displaying emotion that left no doubt. Here they do so with Ryan- and fight for him while shielding him from Dawn.

Dawn still swoops in living in her own fantasy, but never hearing the reality or accepting any responsibility. Good for Ryan for stating exactly how he perceives their past and any relationship as well as how he sees her- and in no uncertain terms. However painful, he had to spell it out. Thankfully, he wasn't alone with deluded, self-centered, shrill Dawn. And is it wrong that I silently wondered if a bleeding Ryan passed anything on to her? Granted, he wasn't bleeding much, and she'd have to have a gaping wound of her own, so the odds are miniscule but still it brings the true gravity home...

[fifimom.livejournal.com]

Wow girl you've really got the angst going and I'm loving it and kind of hating it at the same time. This is another great update. Thanks.

[malinr.livejournal.com]

Sad, depressing, angsty and lovely written. Hugs

[stolen-kisses87.livejournal.com]

So I've gotten REALLY behind on a lot of different things, I haven't even read this chapter yet I just wanted to let you know that so far I love every Ryan/Summer story of yours that I've read and I'm so glad you ship these two, it's hard to find good Ryan/Summer fics these days. Hopefully one day I'll get caught up enough to let you know how much I love every chapter you put out, but I didn't want to read anymore without letting you know that I've definitely enjoyed everything I've read so far..that was kind of wordy and probably didn't make a whole lot of sense, hopefully you'll at least get that I love your fic out of it.

[60schic.livejournal.com]

Whoa! An emotionally hard-hitting chapter. It sounded very Ryan-esque.

I'm still loving this fic.

[dogsbody01.livejournal.com]

Kirsten was a model of self-control,personally I would've beaten Dawn within inches of her miserable existence.For what she did to Ryan and for what he was forced to do,in order to survive.Also,I loved how Sandy diffused things.