Heavily Broken Soundtrack - Volume One
Jun. 28th, 2007 02:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmara13This is Volume One of the songs that inspired HB, or that I listened to while writing specific scenes. For the most part, I consider them to be in story order, from earliest scenes to latest scenes.
Behind the cut you will find: Front and Back cover art, track listing, reasons why I chose each song, and links for downloading the soundtrack.
Oh yes! If you haven't read the first 53 chapters of Heavily Broken, there are spoilers behind the cut, so be warned.
Heavily Broken ~ The Veronicas
anyday, it'll all be over/everyday there's nothing new/and i'm just trying to find some hope to try to hold on to/but it starts again, it never ends/i'm heavily broken/and I don't know what to do/can't you see that I'm choking/and I can't even move.
Title Track. This song is the one that I took the overall title of the story from, and in some ways it inspired the story on a whole as I was writing. The lyrics fit Ryan very well. He feels like he's this mess, broken and unrepairable, he doesn't really know what he's suppose to do anymore, where he's suppose to be.
What It's Like ~ Everlast
god forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes/because then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues/then you really might know what it's like.
I see this song playing during the prologue scene, when Ryan's working on Hanlin Street, just trying to make a living and survive, and continuing through the scene where Sandy arrives at the hospital and sees how messed up Ryan is, how beaten he is.
Cry Ophelia ~ Adam Cohen
you've been working hard, just trying to pay the rent/trying to draw the line between who you are and who you invent/but if you throw a stone, something's gonna shatter somewhere/we're all so fragile, we're all so scared
While the song is assumed to be about a woman ('Ophelia' being the tip off... lol), so many of the lines seem to fit Ryan, especially the ones quoted above. He's trying so hard to be strong and survive, but he needs to be able to just break down and cry. I see this one as being from the POV of the Cohens to Ryan, telling him that it's okay for him to let go and admit he's scared.
Good Enough ~ Sarah McLachlan
so don't tell me i/haven't been good to you/don't tell me i/haven't been there for you/just tell me why/nothing is good enough
The lines quoted above strike me so strong as being from Ryan's POV about Dawn. He was never quite a good enough reason for her to get and stay clean, even though he really needed her to. He took care of her when she was drunk or high, he made sure bills got paid and food was bought, he took care of her, but he wasn't enough.
Breathe Me ~ Sia
be my friend/hold me, wrap me up/unfold me/i am small/i'm needy/warm me up/and breathe me
Ryan's needs for friends, for people he can surround himself with and trust not to hurt him. Also, his slowly developing relationship with Summer, how he wants to be near her because she makes him feel like maybe he could recover, maybe he could be normal again, maybe he could actually fall in love...
The Way We Get By ~ Spoon (Ryan remicses about old time with Theresa and Arturo)
we get high in back seats of cars/we put faith in our concerns/fall in love to down on the street/we believe in the sum of ourselves/i said that's the way we get by
Ryan and old times with Theresa and Arturo, especially at his birthday party, when they are sharing all the old stories about growing up together in Chino. They dealt with live overall sucking by counting only on eachother and their other friends, and doing what felt good and right in order to avoid the negative. I'm actually convinced that Ryan and Theresa did get high together in the backseat of ehr convertible... probably had sex there too... lol
What Would Happen ~ Meredith Brooks
hey don't i know you/i can't speak/stripped my senses/on the spot/i've never been defenseless/i can't even make sense of this/you speak and i don't hear a word/what would happen if we kissed/would your tongue slip past my lips/would you run away, would you stay/or would i melt into you
The party at a beach house where, after defending her honor to Chip, Ryan and Summer walk down the beach to talk and officially get together then share their first official kiss. They both a little scared and uncertain about it, but they still want that kiss, they won't to give what they could have a shot.
Hold On ~ Sarah McLachlan
hold on/old on to yourself/for this is gonna hurt like hell/hold on/hold on to yourself/you know that only time can tell
Ryan gets the call in the middle of the night that Theresa's in the hospital and goes racing to Chino. He may not be in love with Theresa, but he loves her so much that the idea of her being hurt is killing him. And then of course he's driving back to newport after helping Arturo beat up Eddie when he gets a second call, this one saying that Theresa and her baby have died. He's in so much pain emotionally that it actually hurts physically, and he doesn't know if he can survive this latest blow.
Broken ~ Lindsay Haun
when you're broken in a million little pieces/and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore/every tear falls down for a reason/don't you stop believing in yourself/when you're broken/better days are gonna find you once again/every piece will find its place
After Theresa's death, Ryan is broken and feeling vulnerable, and he doesn't really see how he can get past this, but he's still trying so hard to hold himself together and be what people expect him to be. I see this as playing when Ryan breaks down crying in Summer's arms. The comfort she offers him gives him that little glimmer of hope that he needs, and her admission that she loves him, along with her acceptance that he can't say it back yet, helps him start feeling stable again.
Two Beds And A Coffee Machine ~ Savage Garden (Bonus Track)
wonder how they'll ever make it/through this living nightmare/but the mind is an amazing thing/full of candy dreams and new toys/and another cheap hotel/two beds and a coffee machine
The title track to the little prequel story. Trey always took care of Ryan when they were kids and their mom would take them and leave their dad for a short time, or when they ran away to the old shed in the backyard, or when they came back from seperate foster homes and Ryan was forever damaged.
Download From SendSpace
Download is a 50mb .Zip files that contain: all 10 tracks, cover art, and playlist. Just open the playlist and everything should play in order, and if you media plaer displays cover art, you'll see the cover pic of Ryan while the song plays.
If you need just one or two songs, let me know and I'll upload them individually.
And there it is, the end of my AU Season One... Don't worry, 'Heavily Broken' continues, revealing the coming summer, then into my AU Season Two. I'll make soundtracks for the later portions, too, especially if people enjoy this one.
Behind the cut you will find: Front and Back cover art, track listing, reasons why I chose each song, and links for downloading the soundtrack.
Oh yes! If you haven't read the first 53 chapters of Heavily Broken, there are spoilers behind the cut, so be warned.
Heavily Broken ~ The Veronicas
anyday, it'll all be over/everyday there's nothing new/and i'm just trying to find some hope to try to hold on to/but it starts again, it never ends/i'm heavily broken/and I don't know what to do/can't you see that I'm choking/and I can't even move.
Title Track. This song is the one that I took the overall title of the story from, and in some ways it inspired the story on a whole as I was writing. The lyrics fit Ryan very well. He feels like he's this mess, broken and unrepairable, he doesn't really know what he's suppose to do anymore, where he's suppose to be.
What It's Like ~ Everlast
god forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes/because then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues/then you really might know what it's like.
I see this song playing during the prologue scene, when Ryan's working on Hanlin Street, just trying to make a living and survive, and continuing through the scene where Sandy arrives at the hospital and sees how messed up Ryan is, how beaten he is.
Cry Ophelia ~ Adam Cohen
you've been working hard, just trying to pay the rent/trying to draw the line between who you are and who you invent/but if you throw a stone, something's gonna shatter somewhere/we're all so fragile, we're all so scared
While the song is assumed to be about a woman ('Ophelia' being the tip off... lol), so many of the lines seem to fit Ryan, especially the ones quoted above. He's trying so hard to be strong and survive, but he needs to be able to just break down and cry. I see this one as being from the POV of the Cohens to Ryan, telling him that it's okay for him to let go and admit he's scared.
Good Enough ~ Sarah McLachlan
so don't tell me i/haven't been good to you/don't tell me i/haven't been there for you/just tell me why/nothing is good enough
The lines quoted above strike me so strong as being from Ryan's POV about Dawn. He was never quite a good enough reason for her to get and stay clean, even though he really needed her to. He took care of her when she was drunk or high, he made sure bills got paid and food was bought, he took care of her, but he wasn't enough.
Breathe Me ~ Sia
be my friend/hold me, wrap me up/unfold me/i am small/i'm needy/warm me up/and breathe me
Ryan's needs for friends, for people he can surround himself with and trust not to hurt him. Also, his slowly developing relationship with Summer, how he wants to be near her because she makes him feel like maybe he could recover, maybe he could be normal again, maybe he could actually fall in love...
The Way We Get By ~ Spoon (Ryan remicses about old time with Theresa and Arturo)
we get high in back seats of cars/we put faith in our concerns/fall in love to down on the street/we believe in the sum of ourselves/i said that's the way we get by
Ryan and old times with Theresa and Arturo, especially at his birthday party, when they are sharing all the old stories about growing up together in Chino. They dealt with live overall sucking by counting only on eachother and their other friends, and doing what felt good and right in order to avoid the negative. I'm actually convinced that Ryan and Theresa did get high together in the backseat of ehr convertible... probably had sex there too... lol
What Would Happen ~ Meredith Brooks
hey don't i know you/i can't speak/stripped my senses/on the spot/i've never been defenseless/i can't even make sense of this/you speak and i don't hear a word/what would happen if we kissed/would your tongue slip past my lips/would you run away, would you stay/or would i melt into you
The party at a beach house where, after defending her honor to Chip, Ryan and Summer walk down the beach to talk and officially get together then share their first official kiss. They both a little scared and uncertain about it, but they still want that kiss, they won't to give what they could have a shot.
Hold On ~ Sarah McLachlan
hold on/old on to yourself/for this is gonna hurt like hell/hold on/hold on to yourself/you know that only time can tell
Ryan gets the call in the middle of the night that Theresa's in the hospital and goes racing to Chino. He may not be in love with Theresa, but he loves her so much that the idea of her being hurt is killing him. And then of course he's driving back to newport after helping Arturo beat up Eddie when he gets a second call, this one saying that Theresa and her baby have died. He's in so much pain emotionally that it actually hurts physically, and he doesn't know if he can survive this latest blow.
Broken ~ Lindsay Haun
when you're broken in a million little pieces/and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore/every tear falls down for a reason/don't you stop believing in yourself/when you're broken/better days are gonna find you once again/every piece will find its place
After Theresa's death, Ryan is broken and feeling vulnerable, and he doesn't really see how he can get past this, but he's still trying so hard to hold himself together and be what people expect him to be. I see this as playing when Ryan breaks down crying in Summer's arms. The comfort she offers him gives him that little glimmer of hope that he needs, and her admission that she loves him, along with her acceptance that he can't say it back yet, helps him start feeling stable again.
Two Beds And A Coffee Machine ~ Savage Garden (Bonus Track)
wonder how they'll ever make it/through this living nightmare/but the mind is an amazing thing/full of candy dreams and new toys/and another cheap hotel/two beds and a coffee machine
The title track to the little prequel story. Trey always took care of Ryan when they were kids and their mom would take them and leave their dad for a short time, or when they ran away to the old shed in the backyard, or when they came back from seperate foster homes and Ryan was forever damaged.
Download From SendSpace
Download is a 50mb .Zip files that contain: all 10 tracks, cover art, and playlist. Just open the playlist and everything should play in order, and if you media plaer displays cover art, you'll see the cover pic of Ryan while the song plays.
If you need just one or two songs, let me know and I'll upload them individually.
And there it is, the end of my AU Season One... Don't worry, 'Heavily Broken' continues, revealing the coming summer, then into my AU Season Two. I'll make soundtracks for the later portions, too, especially if people enjoy this one.
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-28 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 12:01 am (UTC)After I'm finished with my Heroes and Brothers and Sisters marathon - can you believe that I haven't watched both series when they originally aired - your HB story is definitely on the top of my list. I think I'm also in a happy enough place that reading your most angsty & dramatic fic won't drag my mood down ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 12:13 am (UTC)lol... I've never watched Brothers And Sisters, but I LOVE Heroes... lol...
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 12:39 am (UTC)I've just pre-ordered the Eureka season one DVD box set by the way, I wonder how many weeks I'll have to wait for my US import ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 02:18 am (UTC)Assuming that episodes of Eureka's first season didn't follow a strict timeline, then everything from episode three on is fair game to you. It's a pity though that everything before ep eight has to be discounted as well as Zoe hadn't had her fire-red hair yet.
Do you remember the episode where some pollen caused the whole town to act crazy and irrational and only Jack and Zoe were safe because they're living in Sarah? How would that episode have changed, had Zoe taken Ryan with her into the bunker?
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 02:34 am (UTC)But that brings it right up to 'Purple Haze' with the weird ass pollen... We can assume Ryan came to town sometime between 'Primal' (Nanoid Starks) and 'Purple Haze' (Weird Ass Pollen)... and I could so write a longer AU version fo Purple Haze that has Ryan there for it... you definitely give me ideas here...
And man... that gives me ideas for alternate versions of both 'H.O.U.S.E. Rules' and 'Once In A Lifetime' where Ryan is present... Have you seen both those eps (The last two eps of the first season)? I don't wanna give spoilers if you haven't and would rather see the eps without knowing... lol...
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 03:02 am (UTC)You don't have to worry about spoiling me, because I've seen all Eureka episodes last year. Even got them as HDTV rips on my PC and I plan on rewatching them before July 10th. The DVD release is just a tad too late for this, I'm afraid :(
The next to last episode where the six of them are taken hostage by Sarah/Brad might be funny with Ryan in the picture. I just wonder how you will integrate him in a story that has Zoe only showing up at the last minute and so far, there hasn't been much going on with all the others. I mean, Jack is Zoe's father and I don't believe Ryan is likely to hang out with him as the father of a friend of his, the same goes for Nathan who he already dubbed an "ass" in one of your ficlets. The only possibility I see to insert him into the focus of the episode is by playing the guardian-card with Beverly. Then again, this might just ruin the whole concept of pairing two people together and working through their stuff. With Ryan somewhere in between, he'd be more like a fifth weel, don't you think?
Nevertheless, I'm glad to have given you some ideas, maybe we'll even see some sort of continuation before the season premiere :D
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 03:18 am (UTC)But 'Purple Haze' and 'Once In A Life Time' could both provide an interesting retakje with Ryan in the picture... in PH I imagine that Ryan and Zoe were working on a project for school and it got late, so Ryan just stayed over, meanign he didn't get affected by the pollen... or maybe he did get affected, but it leaves him laid back and out for 'fun' instead of trying to behave, and Zoe winds up the responsible one for the day (Either way, Ryan tells Stark 'Screw you, ass" and gets away with it because of the pollen... lol) and in OIAL, Ryan and Zoe are totally still friends, and maybe he's working at Global Dynamics now, because what college could teach even half of what he could learn in the labs at GD?
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 11:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 02:21 pm (UTC)I'm uploading a copy of Two Beds And A Coffee Machine that was done by our brother koshuis's (frat house for you Americans) a'cappela group called Navi Redd. It's a bit more sad and eerie in my opinion and thus fits this fic better. Plus, I can brag about my friends and say all the sounds are made my their mouths and no instruments were used. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=AGHL29CW
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=AGHL29CW
Also, which font did you use for your header picture?
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 04:36 pm (UTC)The font is called 'Amienne'... it came on my computer, so I don't know where to get it... lol
no subject
Date: 2007-06-29 05:00 pm (UTC)