Heavily Broken (Chapter Fifteen)
Jan. 16th, 2007 06:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmara13Title: Heavily Broken (Chapter Fifteen)
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex, mentions of rape, violence. Language.
Summary: Ryan didn't call Sandy after Dawn kicked him out, but he still finds his way to the Cohen family.
Chapter Fifteen
Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chrissydechagny for the most excellent banner!
Saturday found Ryan and Taylor sitting in the stands as the kids left the field following the game. "Okay, so, you think you've got it figured out?" Ryan asked as they stood and headed down to the field themselves.
"I think so," Taylor said, nodding as she smoothed her white shorts and brushed an invisible spot of dust off them. "Alternate feet, small kicks that are more like nudges, always try to keep moving towards the goal."
"And no...?" Ryan prompted.
"Touching the ball with my hands," Taylor said.
"Right," Ryan said. He dropped the soccer ball that he'd brought, the one Kirsten bought him after learning he used to play, and started heading across the field and towards the goal. "It's called dribbling, just like in basketball," he told Taylor as she jogged to stay with him. "We need to figure out your kick strength, but I used to be able to get it in from here," Ryan said as he reached a certain distance and stopped, shifting his feet and kicking the ball into the net on his first try.
"You're good," Taylor said.
"You're turn," Ryan replied, running to grab the ball and dropping it in front of Taylor. "Head for the opposite goal," he told her, and they reversed their earlier positions, him jogging to stay with her. When they got close to the goal, Taylor stopped and glanced at Ryan for approval before kicking the ball. While it did sail forward, it hit the metal frame and bounced back, while Taylor wound up thrown off balance and landed in a heap on the ground. "You okay?" Ryan asked her.
"Besides embarassed and grass stained, I'm fine," Taylor said, getting up as Ryan ran to get the ball again.
"Okay, let's try this again," Ryan said as he dropped the ball in front of you. "Don't bother with dribbling, just kick it," he instructed.
~~~
"Taylor?" Ryan said almost two hours later.
"Yeah?" Taylor replied from next to him where her eyes were squeezed closed following her last shot.
"You just scored a goal."
Taylor's eyes shot open again, and she squealed in excitement when she saw the ball in the back corner of the net. "I did it! It took me two hours but I did it!"
"You did good," Ryan agreed. "So now can we at least take a break?"
"I made a goal after two hours," Taylor repeated. "I think that means we should call it a day."
"Two hours and many grass stains on your ass," Ryan joked as he sat down on the field and caught a glimpse of how stained Taylor's shorts were now.
"I kinda hope my mom sees them and freaks," Taylor admitted as she sat down beside Ryan.
"I think I'm a bad influence on you," Ryan replied, laughing as he laid down.
"Yeah, but... because of you I have at least one friend," Taylor said. "And maybe Luke will look at me..."
"If he doesn't, it's his loss," Ryan said tiredly. "I'll kick his ass if he's mean to you."
"Thanks," Taylor said quietly. "No one's ever been willing to do that for me."
"If there's one thing you should know about me, Taylor, it's that I don't let anyone hurt my friends," Ryan said, propping himself up on his elbows. "I used to get in fights all the time with guys who gave my friend Theresa a hard time."
"I thought Theresa was your girlfriend?" Taylor said.
"She... we're..." Ryan said, scrambling for a good response.
"You lied, didn't you?"
Ryan sighed. "Look, I can't really handle a relationship with anyone, but Summer wants a relationship, so... yeah, I lied. Me and Theresa used to date, we were very off and on, pretty much off for about 7 months now, but... when I saw her last week she agreed to go along with the girlfriend thing. I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone."
"My lips are sealed," Taylor promised.
"Thanks," Ryan said, nodding to himself. "Alright, come on, I think we can fit in a little more practice before we call it a day."
Taylor sighed, but nodded. "Sure," she agreed.
~~~
The next morning, Ryan woke to the sound of his door opening, and he tensed immediately before opening his eyes enough to see it was Luke hovering in the doorway. "What do you want, man?" Ryan mumbled as he sat up.
"Taylor has a crush on me?" Luke asked.
"Where'd you...?" Ryan began.
"Summer told me that you told her... and I've spent the entire past week trying to figure this out since you were hanging out with Taylor and avoiding Summer, which kinda meant avoiding me, so I couldn't just ask you..."
"Yeah, okay, Taylor does," Ryan said. "If you're not interested, just be nice about it, okay?"
"I don't if I am or not!" Luke said with a sigh, sitting in one of the chairs with a sigh. "I don't even know her."
"Give her a chance," Ryan said. "I spent all day yesterday teaching her how to play soccer so she could impress you. And she... she's really smart, and sweet, and she's nice, Luke. I know there's a Marissa factor, but... do you want Marissa back?"
"No, me and Marissa was... I was a jerk when I was with her."
"So take her and her feelings about Taylor out of the equation," Ryan said. "Pretend there was no history, there's just now. You met just about a month ago, and now you know she likes you. What do you do?"
"I ask her out," Luke said, nodding. "Maybe to play soccer."
Ryan chuckled. "You know, I'm suppose to meet her at the field again in about an hour. Why don't you go instead?"
"Isn't she gonna freak?"
"And probably get kinda... confused and exciteable, but... that's part of her charm."
Luke nodded. "Okay. Then I guess I better go home and change."
"Good luck, man," Ryan said, waving in farewell as Luke left. He laid back down again for a minute, then got up and headed into the main house to get some breakfast. And promptly felt like he'd walked into a warzone.
"No, Sandy!" Kirsten said. "I'm not going to subject Ryan to your mother anywhere near his birthday!"
"Ma just wants to meet him, and..."
"And she can come next year!"
"But..." Sandy began, only to stop when he spotted Ryan. "Morning, kiddo," he said.
"Sleep well, honey?" Kirsten asked, pretending that a moment before she hadn't been yelling and screaming.
"Fine," Ryan said. "Is everything... okay?"
"Everything's fine," Sandy said, waving off Ryan's concern.
"Okay," Ryan said quietly as he snagged a bagel and gestured back towards the poolhouse. "I'm gonna go back and..."
"No, Ryan, sit down and eat something more than a bagel," Kirsten said.
"It's okay, I'm really not that hungry," Ryan said, shaking his head.
"Honey..."
"I'll just... go..." Ryan said, turning and hurrying out, leaving both adults to stare after him.
"His file says the cops had to get called on his parents for their fights several times," Sandy said.
"Damn it," Kirsten said. "We're suppose to give him a better life, not scare him."
"I'll go talk to him, explain..." Sandy began.
"Explain what, Sandy? That we had an arguement that still hasn't been resolved?" Kirsten said. "We need to be able to tell him that everything's okay and we took care of what was wrong, then we'll talk to him together."
~~~
Ryan meant to dial Theresa's number, tell her that he needed her to tell him everything would be okay because he would believe her. Instead, he dialed Summer's number and when she answered he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I need to get out of here for a while, you wanna do something?"
"Sure," Summer replied, relief clear in her voice. "I kinda got the impression you weren't talking to me."
"I know, I just... I don't know."
"I'll be there in like 15 minutes, okay? I just gotta get dressed..."
"Don't put those images in a guy's head, Summer," Ryan joked.
"Funny," Summer replied. "I'll see you soon."
"Alright, I'll meet you out front," Ryan said before hanging up. He quickly went to the shelves and grabbed some clothes before heading into the bathroom to change. He left the blinds up most of the time, liking to be able to see out into the sunlit yard and off towards the horizon, both for the view and because he could easily see who was coming, so it had become habit to change in the bathroom, keeping his gaze pointed at the floor so he didn't see the still empty spot where the medicine cabinet door had been. When he came back out a minute later, he paused only long enough to pull on his boots and grab his wallet, then headed across the patio to tell the Cohens that he was leaving.
They were talking quietly in the kitchen when he opened the door, and both seemed to be surprised that he had come back so quick. "Everything okay?" Sandy asked.
"Summer's coming by to get me so we can hang out," Ryan said. "I'm gonna wait for her at the end of the driveway."
"Ryan, wait," Sandy said.
"No," Ryan said. "Finish whatever I interrupted earlier, okay? I just don't want to be here for it." With that he walked away, and a moment later they heard the front door open and close.
"Damn it," Sandy said, unconsciously echoing his wife from earlier.
~~~
"Let's go," Ryan said as he climbed into Summer's jeep and leaned back looking anywhere but at either the house or Summer.
"What's wrong?" Summer asked as she pulled away from the curb.
"I just... Sandy and Kirsten are fighting," Ryan said. "Apparently me being here is messing up plans for Sandy's mom to visit, and Sandy's upset, and Kirsten's mad at him for being upset, and... and I just don't want to deal with bickering parents." He slammed his hand against the side of the jeep, letting some of his anger show. "I thought I was through with that shit when I came here! I thought... I thought I'd never have to hear two people yelling at eachother because of me again. I should have known better, because all I ever seem to do is mess everything up."
"That's not true!" Summer said.
"Yeah, it is," Ryan said. "I always managed to piss my dad off, or my mom, or my mom's boyfriends... My brother's in jail because he was stealing a car to get me away from them... my mom... my mom's in jail, Summer," Ryan said.
"What?" Summer asked.
"I overheard Sandy and Kirsten talking last week. My mom's in jail for drug dealing and prostitution, and it's killing me that I can't see her and talk to her... I was never good enough for her to stop drinking and doing the drugs..."
"She's the one that's not good enough!" Summer said. "God, Chino... is it my fault my mom left me and my dad? She did it a week after I quit Ballet, so..."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ryan asked.
"My point is, we don't control out parents and their actions, Ryan," Summer said. "We can't make them do what they should do, what we need them to do. We can only try to survive when they screw up and seem to be doing their best to screw us up..."
Ryan sighed and tilted his head back to look at the sky. "Everything's so messed up all the time," he whispered. "I always thought... it's gotta be me, because Kirsten and Sandy... I think they were okay before me and my shit..."
Summer looked over at him, biting her lip. "God, Chino, if they're fighting, it's not because of you. I don't think anyone likes their in-laws, and..."
"I think they'd be better off if I never came here," Ryan whispered.
"No, they wouldn't," Summer said, reaching across the seats to take Ryan's hand and squeezing it. "You're just freaking out, Ry. We'll hang out, and later on you'll go back and everything will be okay. You'll see."
Ryan nodded slowly. "Okay," he whispered.
To Be Continued...
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex, mentions of rape, violence. Language.
Summary: Ryan didn't call Sandy after Dawn kicked him out, but he still finds his way to the Cohen family.
Chapter Fifteen
Many thanks to
chrissydechagny for the most excellent banner!Saturday found Ryan and Taylor sitting in the stands as the kids left the field following the game. "Okay, so, you think you've got it figured out?" Ryan asked as they stood and headed down to the field themselves.
"I think so," Taylor said, nodding as she smoothed her white shorts and brushed an invisible spot of dust off them. "Alternate feet, small kicks that are more like nudges, always try to keep moving towards the goal."
"And no...?" Ryan prompted.
"Touching the ball with my hands," Taylor said.
"Right," Ryan said. He dropped the soccer ball that he'd brought, the one Kirsten bought him after learning he used to play, and started heading across the field and towards the goal. "It's called dribbling, just like in basketball," he told Taylor as she jogged to stay with him. "We need to figure out your kick strength, but I used to be able to get it in from here," Ryan said as he reached a certain distance and stopped, shifting his feet and kicking the ball into the net on his first try.
"You're good," Taylor said.
"You're turn," Ryan replied, running to grab the ball and dropping it in front of Taylor. "Head for the opposite goal," he told her, and they reversed their earlier positions, him jogging to stay with her. When they got close to the goal, Taylor stopped and glanced at Ryan for approval before kicking the ball. While it did sail forward, it hit the metal frame and bounced back, while Taylor wound up thrown off balance and landed in a heap on the ground. "You okay?" Ryan asked her.
"Besides embarassed and grass stained, I'm fine," Taylor said, getting up as Ryan ran to get the ball again.
"Okay, let's try this again," Ryan said as he dropped the ball in front of you. "Don't bother with dribbling, just kick it," he instructed.
~~~
"Taylor?" Ryan said almost two hours later.
"Yeah?" Taylor replied from next to him where her eyes were squeezed closed following her last shot.
"You just scored a goal."
Taylor's eyes shot open again, and she squealed in excitement when she saw the ball in the back corner of the net. "I did it! It took me two hours but I did it!"
"You did good," Ryan agreed. "So now can we at least take a break?"
"I made a goal after two hours," Taylor repeated. "I think that means we should call it a day."
"Two hours and many grass stains on your ass," Ryan joked as he sat down on the field and caught a glimpse of how stained Taylor's shorts were now.
"I kinda hope my mom sees them and freaks," Taylor admitted as she sat down beside Ryan.
"I think I'm a bad influence on you," Ryan replied, laughing as he laid down.
"Yeah, but... because of you I have at least one friend," Taylor said. "And maybe Luke will look at me..."
"If he doesn't, it's his loss," Ryan said tiredly. "I'll kick his ass if he's mean to you."
"Thanks," Taylor said quietly. "No one's ever been willing to do that for me."
"If there's one thing you should know about me, Taylor, it's that I don't let anyone hurt my friends," Ryan said, propping himself up on his elbows. "I used to get in fights all the time with guys who gave my friend Theresa a hard time."
"I thought Theresa was your girlfriend?" Taylor said.
"She... we're..." Ryan said, scrambling for a good response.
"You lied, didn't you?"
Ryan sighed. "Look, I can't really handle a relationship with anyone, but Summer wants a relationship, so... yeah, I lied. Me and Theresa used to date, we were very off and on, pretty much off for about 7 months now, but... when I saw her last week she agreed to go along with the girlfriend thing. I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone."
"My lips are sealed," Taylor promised.
"Thanks," Ryan said, nodding to himself. "Alright, come on, I think we can fit in a little more practice before we call it a day."
Taylor sighed, but nodded. "Sure," she agreed.
~~~
The next morning, Ryan woke to the sound of his door opening, and he tensed immediately before opening his eyes enough to see it was Luke hovering in the doorway. "What do you want, man?" Ryan mumbled as he sat up.
"Taylor has a crush on me?" Luke asked.
"Where'd you...?" Ryan began.
"Summer told me that you told her... and I've spent the entire past week trying to figure this out since you were hanging out with Taylor and avoiding Summer, which kinda meant avoiding me, so I couldn't just ask you..."
"Yeah, okay, Taylor does," Ryan said. "If you're not interested, just be nice about it, okay?"
"I don't if I am or not!" Luke said with a sigh, sitting in one of the chairs with a sigh. "I don't even know her."
"Give her a chance," Ryan said. "I spent all day yesterday teaching her how to play soccer so she could impress you. And she... she's really smart, and sweet, and she's nice, Luke. I know there's a Marissa factor, but... do you want Marissa back?"
"No, me and Marissa was... I was a jerk when I was with her."
"So take her and her feelings about Taylor out of the equation," Ryan said. "Pretend there was no history, there's just now. You met just about a month ago, and now you know she likes you. What do you do?"
"I ask her out," Luke said, nodding. "Maybe to play soccer."
Ryan chuckled. "You know, I'm suppose to meet her at the field again in about an hour. Why don't you go instead?"
"Isn't she gonna freak?"
"And probably get kinda... confused and exciteable, but... that's part of her charm."
Luke nodded. "Okay. Then I guess I better go home and change."
"Good luck, man," Ryan said, waving in farewell as Luke left. He laid back down again for a minute, then got up and headed into the main house to get some breakfast. And promptly felt like he'd walked into a warzone.
"No, Sandy!" Kirsten said. "I'm not going to subject Ryan to your mother anywhere near his birthday!"
"Ma just wants to meet him, and..."
"And she can come next year!"
"But..." Sandy began, only to stop when he spotted Ryan. "Morning, kiddo," he said.
"Sleep well, honey?" Kirsten asked, pretending that a moment before she hadn't been yelling and screaming.
"Fine," Ryan said. "Is everything... okay?"
"Everything's fine," Sandy said, waving off Ryan's concern.
"Okay," Ryan said quietly as he snagged a bagel and gestured back towards the poolhouse. "I'm gonna go back and..."
"No, Ryan, sit down and eat something more than a bagel," Kirsten said.
"It's okay, I'm really not that hungry," Ryan said, shaking his head.
"Honey..."
"I'll just... go..." Ryan said, turning and hurrying out, leaving both adults to stare after him.
"His file says the cops had to get called on his parents for their fights several times," Sandy said.
"Damn it," Kirsten said. "We're suppose to give him a better life, not scare him."
"I'll go talk to him, explain..." Sandy began.
"Explain what, Sandy? That we had an arguement that still hasn't been resolved?" Kirsten said. "We need to be able to tell him that everything's okay and we took care of what was wrong, then we'll talk to him together."
~~~
Ryan meant to dial Theresa's number, tell her that he needed her to tell him everything would be okay because he would believe her. Instead, he dialed Summer's number and when she answered he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I need to get out of here for a while, you wanna do something?"
"Sure," Summer replied, relief clear in her voice. "I kinda got the impression you weren't talking to me."
"I know, I just... I don't know."
"I'll be there in like 15 minutes, okay? I just gotta get dressed..."
"Don't put those images in a guy's head, Summer," Ryan joked.
"Funny," Summer replied. "I'll see you soon."
"Alright, I'll meet you out front," Ryan said before hanging up. He quickly went to the shelves and grabbed some clothes before heading into the bathroom to change. He left the blinds up most of the time, liking to be able to see out into the sunlit yard and off towards the horizon, both for the view and because he could easily see who was coming, so it had become habit to change in the bathroom, keeping his gaze pointed at the floor so he didn't see the still empty spot where the medicine cabinet door had been. When he came back out a minute later, he paused only long enough to pull on his boots and grab his wallet, then headed across the patio to tell the Cohens that he was leaving.
They were talking quietly in the kitchen when he opened the door, and both seemed to be surprised that he had come back so quick. "Everything okay?" Sandy asked.
"Summer's coming by to get me so we can hang out," Ryan said. "I'm gonna wait for her at the end of the driveway."
"Ryan, wait," Sandy said.
"No," Ryan said. "Finish whatever I interrupted earlier, okay? I just don't want to be here for it." With that he walked away, and a moment later they heard the front door open and close.
"Damn it," Sandy said, unconsciously echoing his wife from earlier.
~~~
"Let's go," Ryan said as he climbed into Summer's jeep and leaned back looking anywhere but at either the house or Summer.
"What's wrong?" Summer asked as she pulled away from the curb.
"I just... Sandy and Kirsten are fighting," Ryan said. "Apparently me being here is messing up plans for Sandy's mom to visit, and Sandy's upset, and Kirsten's mad at him for being upset, and... and I just don't want to deal with bickering parents." He slammed his hand against the side of the jeep, letting some of his anger show. "I thought I was through with that shit when I came here! I thought... I thought I'd never have to hear two people yelling at eachother because of me again. I should have known better, because all I ever seem to do is mess everything up."
"That's not true!" Summer said.
"Yeah, it is," Ryan said. "I always managed to piss my dad off, or my mom, or my mom's boyfriends... My brother's in jail because he was stealing a car to get me away from them... my mom... my mom's in jail, Summer," Ryan said.
"What?" Summer asked.
"I overheard Sandy and Kirsten talking last week. My mom's in jail for drug dealing and prostitution, and it's killing me that I can't see her and talk to her... I was never good enough for her to stop drinking and doing the drugs..."
"She's the one that's not good enough!" Summer said. "God, Chino... is it my fault my mom left me and my dad? She did it a week after I quit Ballet, so..."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ryan asked.
"My point is, we don't control out parents and their actions, Ryan," Summer said. "We can't make them do what they should do, what we need them to do. We can only try to survive when they screw up and seem to be doing their best to screw us up..."
Ryan sighed and tilted his head back to look at the sky. "Everything's so messed up all the time," he whispered. "I always thought... it's gotta be me, because Kirsten and Sandy... I think they were okay before me and my shit..."
Summer looked over at him, biting her lip. "God, Chino, if they're fighting, it's not because of you. I don't think anyone likes their in-laws, and..."
"I think they'd be better off if I never came here," Ryan whispered.
"No, they wouldn't," Summer said, reaching across the seats to take Ryan's hand and squeezing it. "You're just freaking out, Ry. We'll hang out, and later on you'll go back and everything will be okay. You'll see."
Ryan nodded slowly. "Okay," he whispered.
To Be Continued...
