Date: 2006-10-29 03:09 am (UTC)
Well that was... CRUEL and HEARTLESS!

I'd always thought there was so much wrong with the Oliver Twisted arc from its ridiculous focus on "M" to monopolize screen time, confuse viewers about what the real issue was, distract and divert attention away from the areas of primary importance: trust, acceptance and belonging. This could have been accomplished far better with superior writing and different choices. If TPTB were going to insist on taking the route they did, there needed to be follow up within the Cohen family and that meant emotional and maybe physical consequences.

It always bothered me that no one, no adult paid to be in authority or no adult who was supposed to be legally and morally protecting Ryan (ahem, Sandy) did so. He was a prime target and no one intervened to reduce the risk. He was left vulnerable and that's what makes your scenario not only plausible, but likely.

Your sequence of events is gripping, with Ryan's still calm, measured, astute perspective providing such a vivid picture, replete with details that depict the anguish, guilt and terror that a panicked Sandy felt too late. The progression is equally as frightening, even with Ryan's defining stoicism. His own awareness and revealed fear at his powerlessness is so apparent as he so accurately reads the doctor's eyes and faces the hurdles and subsequent challenges with determination. Nothing in his life is easy, simple or predictable. The same struggle that he's confronted as the outsider in every family and community, haunts him and has put him in peril with emotional and physical scars and wounds that will never heal and will continue to gnaw at him, inflicting far more hidden damage over time.

You almost taunt the reader, and Ryan, by giving him the gift of those additional years and experiences. I doubt he was lulled into the same sense of false security, however. In all situations in his life, he considered himself on borrowed time and always had to perceive each new warning as the one that could tear down the house of cards- it was only a matter of how.

As I was reading this, I was hoping you'd go back and fill in the gaps. However, after reading the outcome, I'm not so sure!

Still, the format, pace and rhtythm were perfect complements to the tone and content. This was a bittersweet story that was so poignant because it was so engrossing. Who could resist hoping for Ryan to overcome each obstacle and find the life he deserved? Then you snatched it away!

This does make me hope you'd consider backing up and focusing on the time immediately after the scenario you've posed. There's a tremendous opportunity there with so much to explore that's pivotal to who Ryan is and what his relationship is with the Cohens- and what they mean to one another in the context of these events.
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