Never Again (Chapter Four)
Jul. 15th, 2008 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmara13Title: Never Again
Author: Mara
Fandom: The OC/One Tree Hill
Word Count: 1850
Rating: R
Warnings: Some violence (Mostly in flashbacks), language, possibly sex
Summary: "You hit me, even once, and I swear to god it'll be the last time you ever lay a finger on me."
Notes: Been a little while on this one...
Never Again: Chapter Four
"I love you."
Ryan froze at Brooke's soft words, his entire body tensing, and he slowly pulled away to sit up. "What?"
"Obviously I shouldn't have said that," Brooke said, getting up and grabbing her clothes.
"Brooke..."
"You know, I should probably be glad that you didn't lie and say you love me, too, like most guys would. Then it would just hurt more when I realized you didn't."
"Brooke..." Ryan repeated.
"I'm gonna go..."
Ryan caught her arm. "I... I care about you. But... I have issues with those words. Everyone who's ever claimed to love me has screwed me over, my own mother included. So... I don't say those words easily. I have to be absolutely sure, because saying those words are opening myself up to be hurt all over again. I don't know if I can take that happening again."
Brooke's expression softened slightly. "Ryan..."
"Give me time," Ryan said. "And believe me, when I say it to you, it's gonna mean... it's not gonna just be three little words. It's gonna mean I'm giving you my whole heart, and trusting you not to destroy it."
Brooke smiled sadly and reached up to cup his cheek with her hand. "For you, I can wait," she said, kissing him softly.
"Come back to bed?" Ryan asked.
"Sure," Brooke agreed.
"I love you."
Brooke woke up to the words and looked down to see Ryan's head resting on her thighs, facing her, eyes closed and the fingers of one hand splayed across her still flat stomach. "Our baby will know the safe kinda love first, not the kind that hurts," she whispered in response, her fingers going to comb through his hair as he opened his eyes and smiled at her.
"So I'm not a freak?" he asked, placing a soft kiss to her stomach before sitting up to kiss her.
"If I could do that, I would," Brooke admitted.
"I'm promising you and this kid, Brooke, I will never drink."
"I believe you," Brooke said.
"I love you," he told her, kissing her again. "More every second."
"Don't expect to keep me barefoot and pregnant, hot boy," Brooke teased as she got up, grabbing one of his shirts off the back of a chair to pull on. "Make me breakfast?" she asked hopefully.
"You are a master of random topic changes," Ryan said as he grabbed a pair of sweats and an undershirt.
"You know you love me because," Brooke said. "Breakfast?"
"Anything your heart desires."
Brooke raised an eyebrow seductively. "Don't get me started on what my heart desires," she teased.
"I'm still trying to figure out if this is just you, or if your the horny kinda pregnant woman," Ryan said, laughing as he headed for the kitchen.
"So far, it's just me," Brooke said. "But I seriously think you have horny Brooke to look forward to."
"Good," Ryan agreed.
Brooke started laughing now, even as someone knocked on the door and she went to answer it. "Can I help you?" she asked.
"I'm looking for Ryan Atwood," came the response from a male voice.
Ryan hadn't been paying much attention until he heard the familiar voice responding. He put down the pan and walked over. "What do you want, Caleb?" he asked, jaw tight.
"Ry?" Brooke asked.
"Kirsten..." Caleb began.
"I don't really give a shit about Kirsten," Ryan interrupted. "She didn't give a shit when I was getting hit, I don't give a shit about her now."
"She's upset with how you left things, both the first time and yesterday," Caleb persisted. "She loves you..."
"She knew how bad things were getting with Sandy, and she didn't do anything," Ryan said. "At least she didn't stand there and watch, telling me it was my own fault I was getting hit. That makes her a step above my mother. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of making breakfast for my pregnant girlfriend."
"Are you really going to deny Kirsten her first grandchild?" Caleb asked, catching the door before Ryan could close it. "Deny your child grandparents?"
"I won't have my kid in a house where it's okay to get drunk and hit the people you claim to love," Ryan said. "Having no family is better than having a family like that."
"Kiki is..."
"Do you understand how much it took for me to go see him?" Ryan asked. "How much I didn't want to be there? But I went, because after everything, I still loved them. Not anymore, though, because... I'm not gonna waste my love on people who don't give a shit about me. People who defend what he did..."
"I know Sandy had his..."
"He shoved me through a plate glass door," Ryan said coldly. "And while I laid there bleeding, he promised me he wouldn't drink again, and he wouldn't call me names again... but two weeks later he was back to old habits, and I... I refuse to be part of a family where I mean so little. It took me a long time, but I've actually figured out that I deserve better than that. So please, leave."
"But..."
Ryan didn't let him finish the sentence before slamming the door in his face and leaning back against it. "Damn it."
"He had no right to show up like that," Brooke said, moving to embrace Ryan.
"I wish... I wish I could forgive them," Ryan whispered. "I miss them so much."
"I know, baby, I know," Brooke said.
"We should... we should go to Tree Hill. Take a vacation and see your friends there. I know you're dying to ask Haley for baby advice, and I've gotta ask Nathan if it's normal to be scared out of your mind..."
Brooke laughed softly. "What about work?" she asked.
"Do you know how many vacation days I have saved up?" Ryan asked. "Paulie's been trying to get me to take some of them. He thinks I don't 'enjoy being 23' enough."
"He's right," Brooke said. "23 year-olds are suppose to be out clubbing, not managing a huge restaurant and living with their pregnant girlfriend."
"I love my life the way it is," Ryan promised, kissing her lightly on the lips. "But I think we could both use a break."
"Andrea's already said I'm fired as soon as I start showing," Brooke admitted. "I might as well quit on her bitchy ass now."
Ryan smiled. "Sounds like we've got a plan."
"But the tickets are gonna cost a..."
"I bought the tickets last month as a surprise for our anniversary," Ryan admitted. "Next week it'll be six years since the day we met, and... I thought you'd like to go home for a visit."
"I am home," Brooke said, her hands coming up to cradle his face. "You're my home."
"You know what I mean," Ryan said. "So. You wanna go to North Carolina next week?"
"Yeah, I do," Brooke agreed. "Have I told you lately how amazing you are?"
"Can't remember," Ryan replied.
"I'm gonna go call Haley and tell her," Brooke said, kissing him one more time before hurrying out of the room.
Ryan watched her go, then slowly walked over to the hook his jacket hung on and reaching into the pocket and pulling out the little velvet box that held the delicate silver ring he'd bought the same day he bought the tickets. He smiled and snapped the box closed again, then slipped it back into his jacket pocket, smiling. He'd planned it before he'd known about the baby, and now it seemed even more right. He was determined to be the husband and father that Brooke and their baby deserved.
To Be Continued...
Author: Mara
Fandom: The OC/One Tree Hill
Word Count: 1850
Rating: R
Warnings: Some violence (Mostly in flashbacks), language, possibly sex
Summary: "You hit me, even once, and I swear to god it'll be the last time you ever lay a finger on me."
Notes: Been a little while on this one...
Never Again: Chapter Four
"I love you."
Ryan froze at Brooke's soft words, his entire body tensing, and he slowly pulled away to sit up. "What?"
"Obviously I shouldn't have said that," Brooke said, getting up and grabbing her clothes.
"Brooke..."
"You know, I should probably be glad that you didn't lie and say you love me, too, like most guys would. Then it would just hurt more when I realized you didn't."
"Brooke..." Ryan repeated.
"I'm gonna go..."
Ryan caught her arm. "I... I care about you. But... I have issues with those words. Everyone who's ever claimed to love me has screwed me over, my own mother included. So... I don't say those words easily. I have to be absolutely sure, because saying those words are opening myself up to be hurt all over again. I don't know if I can take that happening again."
Brooke's expression softened slightly. "Ryan..."
"Give me time," Ryan said. "And believe me, when I say it to you, it's gonna mean... it's not gonna just be three little words. It's gonna mean I'm giving you my whole heart, and trusting you not to destroy it."
Brooke smiled sadly and reached up to cup his cheek with her hand. "For you, I can wait," she said, kissing him softly.
"Come back to bed?" Ryan asked.
"Sure," Brooke agreed.
"I love you."
Brooke woke up to the words and looked down to see Ryan's head resting on her thighs, facing her, eyes closed and the fingers of one hand splayed across her still flat stomach. "Our baby will know the safe kinda love first, not the kind that hurts," she whispered in response, her fingers going to comb through his hair as he opened his eyes and smiled at her.
"So I'm not a freak?" he asked, placing a soft kiss to her stomach before sitting up to kiss her.
"If I could do that, I would," Brooke admitted.
"I'm promising you and this kid, Brooke, I will never drink."
"I believe you," Brooke said.
"I love you," he told her, kissing her again. "More every second."
"Don't expect to keep me barefoot and pregnant, hot boy," Brooke teased as she got up, grabbing one of his shirts off the back of a chair to pull on. "Make me breakfast?" she asked hopefully.
"You are a master of random topic changes," Ryan said as he grabbed a pair of sweats and an undershirt.
"You know you love me because," Brooke said. "Breakfast?"
"Anything your heart desires."
Brooke raised an eyebrow seductively. "Don't get me started on what my heart desires," she teased.
"I'm still trying to figure out if this is just you, or if your the horny kinda pregnant woman," Ryan said, laughing as he headed for the kitchen.
"So far, it's just me," Brooke said. "But I seriously think you have horny Brooke to look forward to."
"Good," Ryan agreed.
Brooke started laughing now, even as someone knocked on the door and she went to answer it. "Can I help you?" she asked.
"I'm looking for Ryan Atwood," came the response from a male voice.
Ryan hadn't been paying much attention until he heard the familiar voice responding. He put down the pan and walked over. "What do you want, Caleb?" he asked, jaw tight.
"Ry?" Brooke asked.
"Kirsten..." Caleb began.
"I don't really give a shit about Kirsten," Ryan interrupted. "She didn't give a shit when I was getting hit, I don't give a shit about her now."
"She's upset with how you left things, both the first time and yesterday," Caleb persisted. "She loves you..."
"She knew how bad things were getting with Sandy, and she didn't do anything," Ryan said. "At least she didn't stand there and watch, telling me it was my own fault I was getting hit. That makes her a step above my mother. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of making breakfast for my pregnant girlfriend."
"Are you really going to deny Kirsten her first grandchild?" Caleb asked, catching the door before Ryan could close it. "Deny your child grandparents?"
"I won't have my kid in a house where it's okay to get drunk and hit the people you claim to love," Ryan said. "Having no family is better than having a family like that."
"Kiki is..."
"Do you understand how much it took for me to go see him?" Ryan asked. "How much I didn't want to be there? But I went, because after everything, I still loved them. Not anymore, though, because... I'm not gonna waste my love on people who don't give a shit about me. People who defend what he did..."
"I know Sandy had his..."
"He shoved me through a plate glass door," Ryan said coldly. "And while I laid there bleeding, he promised me he wouldn't drink again, and he wouldn't call me names again... but two weeks later he was back to old habits, and I... I refuse to be part of a family where I mean so little. It took me a long time, but I've actually figured out that I deserve better than that. So please, leave."
"But..."
Ryan didn't let him finish the sentence before slamming the door in his face and leaning back against it. "Damn it."
"He had no right to show up like that," Brooke said, moving to embrace Ryan.
"I wish... I wish I could forgive them," Ryan whispered. "I miss them so much."
"I know, baby, I know," Brooke said.
"We should... we should go to Tree Hill. Take a vacation and see your friends there. I know you're dying to ask Haley for baby advice, and I've gotta ask Nathan if it's normal to be scared out of your mind..."
Brooke laughed softly. "What about work?" she asked.
"Do you know how many vacation days I have saved up?" Ryan asked. "Paulie's been trying to get me to take some of them. He thinks I don't 'enjoy being 23' enough."
"He's right," Brooke said. "23 year-olds are suppose to be out clubbing, not managing a huge restaurant and living with their pregnant girlfriend."
"I love my life the way it is," Ryan promised, kissing her lightly on the lips. "But I think we could both use a break."
"Andrea's already said I'm fired as soon as I start showing," Brooke admitted. "I might as well quit on her bitchy ass now."
Ryan smiled. "Sounds like we've got a plan."
"But the tickets are gonna cost a..."
"I bought the tickets last month as a surprise for our anniversary," Ryan admitted. "Next week it'll be six years since the day we met, and... I thought you'd like to go home for a visit."
"I am home," Brooke said, her hands coming up to cradle his face. "You're my home."
"You know what I mean," Ryan said. "So. You wanna go to North Carolina next week?"
"Yeah, I do," Brooke agreed. "Have I told you lately how amazing you are?"
"Can't remember," Ryan replied.
"I'm gonna go call Haley and tell her," Brooke said, kissing him one more time before hurrying out of the room.
Ryan watched her go, then slowly walked over to the hook his jacket hung on and reaching into the pocket and pulling out the little velvet box that held the delicate silver ring he'd bought the same day he bought the tickets. He smiled and snapped the box closed again, then slipped it back into his jacket pocket, smiling. He'd planned it before he'd known about the baby, and now it seemed even more right. He was determined to be the husband and father that Brooke and their baby deserved.
To Be Continued...
