Heavily Broken (Chapter Fifty Three)

[missmara13]

Title: Heavily Broken (Chapter Fifty Three)
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex, mentions of rape, violence. Language.
Summary: Ryan didn't call Sandy after Dawn kicked him out, but he still finds his way to the Cohen family.
Notes: Sorry it took so long...




Many thanks to chrissydechagny for the most excellent banner!

"Did you hear that?" Seth asked.

Ryan hurriedly got up and ran back around to the front of the house, trying not to burst out laughing. He wasn't happy that Seth apparently knew some stuff about him, probably at least close to the truth considering what Seth's concerns were, but he found the way the other guy, Che, had phrased things hilarious. It also reminded him that Seth had been so quick to deny being gay or bi, which just made this new knowledge all the funnier. Seth was either that desperate not to be found out, in denial, or maybe just gay when he's stoned. Either way it was funny as hell and Ryan sat down on the front steps to sip his water and try to regain control in case Seth came around front.

After a few minutes, he saw Sandy pulling in, and smiled when he saw Sophie in the passenger seat, getting up to help them with groceries. "Hey," he said.

"You're in a good mood," Sandy said, smiling.

"Had a pretty good day," Ryan replied.

"I didn't expect you to be home yet, I thought you were going to get a ride with Marissa?" Sandy asked.

"I felt kinda wiped right after my session, so I got a cab instead. I was gonna call her later, make sure things went okay for her," Ryan explained, taking a couple bags.

"Why were you sitting out here instead of going inside?" Sophie asked, patting his shoulder as they headed inside.

"I didn't feel like going inside yet, it's a nice day," Ryan replied.

"My dad and The Nana are gonna be home any minute and I don't think they'd wanna meet you, Che!"

"Who's Che?" Sandy asked himself.

"I think he's the same person as Winchester," Ryan supplied, raising an eyebrow slightly and waiting for Sandy to get it.

"Winchester? The guy who...?"

Ryan nodded. "I think so."

"Seth Ezekial!" Sandy yelled as he headed for the kitchen.

"You know something else," Sophie said to Ryan as they followed more slowly.

"You don't wanna know what I know," Ryan replied, chuckling as they entered the kitchen and found Sandy staring while Che introduced himself and started in on how he and Seth were friends and otters and frogs and other things that made absolutely no sense to normal, non-stoned, human beings. "Okay, I'm gonna go to the poolhouse before the guy who's less coherent than my mother gives me a migraine," Ryan said, shaking his head slightly as he put the groceries down.

"Ryan, man, don't leave me here alone..." Seth began.

Ryan looked at him for a moment, considering the option of smiling gleefully and walking out, since Seth had yet to show him any real sign of loyalty or friendship. Then he remembered what he'd heard Seth say about not wanting to add to how screwed up he was, and he sighed, looking over at Sandy only to see the man was now staring in obvious shock and confusion at Che. "Uh..." Ryan began.

"Help me put things away," Sophie said. "I never know where that woman puts anything."

Ryan rolled his eyes at Sophie's description of Kirsten, but went to work. Grabbing the freezer and fridge stuff and moving them closer to the refrigerator so he could put them away first, half listening to Che's rambling and watching Sandy's baffled expression from the corner of his eye. The floor show was worth staying for.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sandy finally asked after hearing about Frogs, Otters, and Soulmates for the third time in a span of a few minutes. "Are you high right now?"

"No, Mr. Cohen, I'm not," Che said. "Haven't even had a puff since Seth left."

"He's more coherent when he's stoned," Seth put in.

"I don't think I'll mention that part to your mother," Sandy told his son. "And I'm not sure I believe either of you."

"Neither of them smell like pot, and neither of them have bloodshot eyes," Ryan said, knowing he should probably keep out of it, but for some reason wanting to defend the two idiots in front of him. "So they're probably telling the truth, at least about him not being stoned."

"And how exactly do you know what pot smells like?" Sophie asked, eyebrows raised.

"My brother used to smoke a joint every so often," Ryan said, shrugging and glancing at Sandy, hoping the man wouldn't mind that he was omitting the little detail that he had, too. He just didn't want Sophie to think bad about him, not when they were getting along now.

"Hmph. Doesn't sound like a very good brother..." Sophie began.

"Trey's a great brother," Ryan said, not willing to ignore that. "He took care of me, he was the only person in that so-called family who did. When I was hurt, he was the one who cleaned me up and told me it was okay. He was the one who told me stories, and taught me to ride a bike, and slept sitting on the floor next to my bed when I was scared so I'd know I wasn't alone. So don't say he isn't a good brother, because he is an amazing brother. He's the one person I know will never hurt me, because he'd rather hurt himself than hurt me." With that he left the house, knowing that he was falling back on old habits and running to avoid confrontation, but he was tired and after that any good feelings he'd had were long gone. He walked into the poolhouse and lowered the shades to give himself some privacy and turned towards the bed only to find Summer sitting cross legged there. "Hi," he said.

"Hey," Summer replied, holding out a hand to him.

Ryan walked over and sank down to his knees in front of her, not able to hold it in as he wrapped his arms around her waist and started crying.

"I'm here, it's okay, just let it out," Summer whispered in return, stroking his hair as she held him. "I know it hurts, I know... it's okay to cry..."

"I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore," Ryan whispered a few minutes later as he pulled back to sit on the floor in front of her, his head still resting in her lap.

"Let me take care of you," Summer replied. "I love you, and I want to help however you need me to help."

Ryan looked up at her, then got to his knees again and kissed her, long and deep, putting more emotion into it than he'd allowed himself before. "How long can you stay?" he asked.

"However long you need me," Summer replied.

Ryan nodded and moved to sit next to her on the bed, taking a deep breath. "There's some thing I need... I need you to know. You may not understand them, but you need to know them."

"Okay," Summer replied, turning to face him and reaching up to stroke his cheek. "Tell me."

Ryan took another deep breath. "My mom wants me back, but I don't wanna go, and Kirsten said that she and Sandy will fight to keep me..."

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah, it is," Ryan agreed. "But it scares me, because... because I don't understand why they want me. I know Ma wants me for the money Mr. Nichols is gonna pay her to keep me away from Kirsten and Seth, but I don't know why Sandy and Kirsten want me. I keep getting into trouble of one sort or another, and I just finished telling Sandy's mother off for bad mouthing Trey... and Seth feels like he has to tiptoe around me... and I don't understand..."

"They want you because you are this amazing person," Summer said, stroking his cheek again. "You're smart, and sweet, and funny... you are an amazing artist, you are one of the most forgiving people I've ever met... yes, that does mean that I know about you and Holly being friends now," she added, smiling when Ryan laughed. "You didn't tell them about Mr. Nichols because you wanted to protect Kirsten from being hurt, you... you be-friended me, Luke, Taylor, and Coop without a second thought. You fought to get me to give Taylor a chance, and you helped Kaitlin with her math homework when no one made you or even really asked you to. "

"She's a nice kid," Ryan said.

"See? Everyone else thinks she's a spoiled brat!" Summer said. "But you see the good, you bring out the good, in people. That's why they want you, Chino. That's why you have so many friends after just a couple months. That's why I love you."

Ryan looked at her, realizing that this was the second time she'd said that. "You love me?"

"Yeah, Ryan, I love you," Summer said, leaning in to kiss him softly.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to say it back," Ryan said. "Everyone I ever loved in any way, except Trey, let me down and hurt me, and I'm not ready to put myself in that place to get hurt that bad again."

"You don't have to say it back," Summer said. "I just wanted you to know how I feel, and that nothing will change that." She paused, tilting her head and trying to pretend she wasn't crying a little. "Unless you become a big jerk."

Ryan laughed slightly and leaned in to kiss her again. "Can you... can you stay and just lay with me for a while?" he asked.

"Whatever you need," Summer said, nodding.

~~~

When Kirsten got home and found out what had happened, she stared at Che in disbelief, then she shot a glare at Sophie and headed out to the poolhouse to check on Ryan. She expected to find him brooding, maybe doing some sketching, or at the very worst with skin scrubbed raw. Instead, she opened the door to find him laying with his head in Summer's lap as the girl combed her fingers through his hair. "Are you okay, honey?" she asked, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and lightly touch Ryan's leg.

"Not really," Ryan replied softly. "But I think I might be getting there."

Kirsten smiled sadly. "Do you feel up to coming inside for dinner? We're ordering Thai."

"Can Summer stay?" Ryan asked.

"There's always room for one more person at our dinner table," Kirsten replied, her smile a little less sad. "Especially if that person is Summer or one of your other friends."

"Thanks, Mrs. Cohen," Summer said, smiling.

"Call me Kirsten," she replied as all three got up and headed inside. "Be forewarned, Che is still here."

"Joy," Ryan said, rolling his eyes. "Although... it could make for an amusing meal."

"Should I be scared?" Summer asked, taking Ryan's hand.

"More like confused," Ryan said. "Very, very, confused. He seems to have that effect."

"Sounds like fun," Summer said.

"Summer's joining us for dinner," Kirsten said as they walked back into the house and found Sophie in what seemed to be a staring contest with Che and Seth.

"Great!" Seth said, glad for the break in tensions.

Sophie looked up, giving Summer a once over. "Have we met yet?" she asked.

"I don't think so," Summer said, smiling. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Cohen. I'm Summer Roberts, Ryan's girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you, too," Sophie said. "When did you get here?"

"A little while ago," Summer said.

"And you just went straight back to his room?" Sophie said.

"Ma..." Sandy began with a sigh.

"What? That's not appropriate behavior!" Sophie said.

"She held my hand while I talked to her about my dead best friend," Ryan said. "It wasn't inappropriate, it was someone giving a damn."

There were several long moments of awkward silence before Sophie nodded. "Ryan, why don't you and I step out onto the patio and talk while we wait for the food to arrive?" she suggested. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning and I'd like to clear the air between us, first."

Ryan sighed, but nodded. "Sure," he agreed, following her back outside. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. Both earlier and just now."

"And I'm sorry I upset you," Sophie said. "I didn't know about your brother, and I tend to open my mouth too fast sometimes. I just remember how Sandy and his brothers were when there were girls in their rooms when they were your age."

Ryan sighed as he sat down at the table, waiting for her to join him. "Yeah, well, trust me, it's not even on the table for a long time yet," he said, hoping she wouldn't ask any follow up questions. "Look, I... I'm just trying to deal with everything, and it's not going so well."

"I know," Sophie said, reaching across to pat his hand. "And a pushy old woman Isn't helping."

Ryan smiled slightly, then looked up at her. "You're gonna take the chemo, right? I know that whole thing kinda got pushed aside because of my drama, but I do remember it. So you're gonna do it, right? Take care of yourself?"

"You don't need to be worrying about that," Sophie said.

"I lost my best friend Friday night. I know that after I tell my Ma I don't wanna live with her again, I'm gonna lose her. I don't wanna be wondering when you're gonna be gone, too," Ryan said. "And Sandy and Seth shouldn't have to worry about losing you. Even Kirsten would miss you."

Sophie snorted. "Not so sure about that last one."

"I am," Ryan said. "So? You gonna take the chemo?"

Sophie smiled and squeezed his hand. "Yeah, I'll do the chemo," she said.

To Be Continued...

This chapter's been pretty much done for a while, but I was hemming and hawing about it because I was trying to decide what would happen in the next few chapters, not sure whether I wanted to go on a path that would overall be so damn angsty but provide great drama and storytelling, or just stick with the current amount of angst, balanced with happier more cheerful stuff. I'm still not 100% sure, but I'm hoping to get chapters of this one out more regularly for a while again... lol...


I'm trying to finalize the soundtrack for this one (Well, the first 'Volume' of it... lol), and once we FINALLY get DSL installed (Which SHOULD be on Monday...) I'll be able to upload quickly and provide you guys with not just a list of songs and why, but download links too! lol