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[personal profile] missmara13
A few days ago, I posted a fic called Lay Bare Your Heart, which was an AU of the 1st season episode 'The Strip' (You know, the one where Seth accidentally hired like four hookers?). This is the sequel to it, which will be much longer.

I want to warn for sexual assault in this part (and references to it in later parts) as well as the fact that it briefly mentions that the first time Ryan had sex with Eddie, Ryan was 12 and Eddie was 16, and while Ryan doesn't consider it rape, it was traumatic and he did say stop which Eddie ignored. So to be clear: both that previous encounter, and the events near the end of this prologue are both rape/sexual assault, whether Ryan acknowledges the earlier encounter as such or not.



Give Me Love - Prologue

Ryan had known, when he went back to Chino with Theresa, that Eddie would show up eventually, and he was glad that at least Theresa was at her own part time job when he finally did.

"She's not here, and even if she was, she's not going back to you," Ryan said, blocking the doorway so Eddie couldn't get in.

"Who says I'm here to see her?" Eddie replied, flashing a smile that, just a year ago, probably would have charmed Ryan in an instant, but as it stood had no effect except to annoy him.

"Not interested," Ryan replied, stepping back so he could close the door, only to have Eddie shove his way through the opening first. "Eddie, get out," he said.

"Come on, Ry," he weaseled, closing the distance between them to corner Ryan against the wall. "We used to have fun..."

"You mean when you kept fucking Theresa behind my back?"

"You fucked her behind mine," Eddie replied.

"Only when neither of us was seeing you," Ryan snapped. "I didn't bail on you to go to her, and leave you with a bunch of creepy stoned guys."

"Come on, they were harmless!" Eddie said.

"Didn't feel that way when one of them cornered me in the bathroom, and 'Turo had to bust some heads to get them to back off me," Ryan replied. "I'm not doing this again, Eddie. I'm only here for Theresa and the baby. My baby."

"She wouldn't mind..." Eddie began, one hand tangling in Ryan's hair while the other gripped his hip. "And an extra paycheck couldn't hurt, right?"

"Are you seriously saying I sleep with you and you'll help us out financially?" Ryan asked. "Like I'm some fucking whore?"

"You sure moan like one in bed," Eddie said with a grin, leaning in for a kiss.

Ryan brought his knee up to slam into Eddie's groin and shoved the groaning man away. "Get the fuck out, asshole," he said. "I don't need you, I can take care of Theresa and the baby, we don't need you." Eddie looked up, and Ryan had only a moment to realize how pissed the other man was before he was slammed to the ground, a fist slamming into his cheek.

"Yeah?" Eddie said as he leaned over to whisper in Ryan's ear. "Then why did she beg me to come make nice with you?" he asked. "She said you were working so hard and not making enough money, and you needed me, for money and in your bed..."

"Go to hell," Ryan snarled, not wanting to believe Theresa would go behind his back like that, and wondering when she found out about him and Eddie.

~~~

"Ryan?"

He didn't look up from the couch when Theresa said his name, he just sighed. "Did you talk to Eddie? Tell him you'd be out today?"

"What?" Theresa asked.

Ryan had always known when Theresa was lying to him, and he finally looked up at her, seeing her flinch as she saw the bruises on his face and throat. "Tell me the truth, Theresa. Did you tell him to come 'make nice' because we need more money? Did you really try to offer me up on a platter to him? He gets to fuck me, you get to have more money?"

"I..."

"The truth," Ryan repeated.

"You always loved him... you might not have told me, but I knew it..."

"Like you give a fuck about who I love," Ryan snapped. "You sure didn't care all the times you fucked him behind my back."

"He was still yours!" Theresa protested. "I could have slept with a dozen guys and he wouldn't have cared, but if I slept with you? He got so jealous, because he wanted to be the one with you! And do you even know how many times he said your name when he was fucking me?"

Ryan shook his head, though at least now he knew that she really did know the whole time. "Yeah? Cause he said a hell of a lot of names when he fucked me." He shook his head and stood up, moving stiffly. "If it wasn't for that baby, I would be gone already. But I'm not leaving my kid, god knows you'd fuck them up, and who knows what Eddie would do to them. So I don't have much of a choice but to stay, do I?"

"Ryan?"

The front door opened and Eddie came in carrying a bag of take out. "Hey, I got dinner for us," he said with a smile. "My stuffs in the car, as long as no one's changed their mind?"

Theresa looked back to Ryan who refused to meet her gaze. "No, we haven't," she said.

"I've got work early, I'm going to bed," Ryan said, walking away.

~~~

Ryan wasn't surprised when, a couple hours later, it was Eddie that climbed into bed with him. He pretended to be asleep as Eddie touched him, knowing the other man preferred his partners conscious. Eventually, Ryan knew he'd pretty much have to give in, both because the really did need more money and Eddie would leave if Ryan didn't sleep with him, but also because as much as he didn't want to, Ryan still had feelings for Eddie, he always would.

"You're not fooling me, I know you're awake," Eddie whispered into Ryan's ear. "And I know you missed me."

Ryan sighed and pulled away enough to roll over onto his back so he could look at Eddie. "I missed the kinda guy you pretended to be right after you figured out my crush but before you fucked me the first time," he said bluntly. "You know, when you pretending to be human?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Ryan..."

"I don't like being treated like a fucking whore by two of the people who mean the most to me in the world," Ryan said.

"We're not..." Eddie began.

"So if I refuse to have sex with you, you'll still help out financially?" Ryan asked. "Because I'd be all for that kinda arrangement."

"You really think you could hold out?" Eddie asked, amused.

Ryan tried to hold back his grin, but finally let it go. "Wanna find out?" he asked.

"I like challenges," Eddie said. "And no matter what you think, I do... I care about you. It was always you more than Theresa."

"Then why the hell did you keep fucking her behind my back?" Ryan asked.

"She was there," Eddie said. "I only went to her when you bailed on me."

"Forgive me for not wanting you to fuck me over a chair when I'd just been beaten with a belt," Ryan snapped.

"I could been gentle," Eddie protested, and even in the low light coming through the blind covered window, his face showed a little hurt that Ryan thought he'd be rough with him.

"But you still would have wanted to fuck," Ryan pointed out. "And I was in a lot of pain, so... no, I didn't wanna go get fucked and then told to 'go home before Trey starts looking'. I just wanted to sleep it off. Actually I just wanted someone to tell me I didn't deserve it and just let me sleep so I wouldn't hurt, and I knew that person wouldn't be you. Why do you think I took a chance on some lawyer I just met instead of calling Theresa when Dawn kicked me out? Because I'd be right back to being your little fuck toy in no time."

"You're more than that," Eddie insisted.

"Yeah," Ryan said, getting up. "I am. It took a long time to realize that, but... I am better than that. And you know what, I'll figure out a way to take care of Theresa and the baby, but I am not whoring myself out to you in order to do it." With that he grabbed his cellphone from the nightstand, walked out of the room, and out onto the back patio. He thought about calling Sandy and Kirsten and telling them everything, including how Theresa manipulated him and how he was scared of what would happen to the baby if he left, but he couldn't bring himself to lay out all his cards to them, so he called the one person who knew most of it anyway.

"Chino?" comes Summer's sleepy voice over the line.

"Hey, Roberts," Ryan replied, letting out the breath he'd been holding, scared she'd either not answer or she'd start out by yelling at him for calling in the middle of the night.

"Are you okay?" Summer asked. "Because my gas tank is full, I can come get you."

Ryan smiled slightly. "You have no idea how much I want to take you up on that right now," he admitted. "Theresa... she set me up, invited Eddie over when she'd be gone so he could 'make nice' with me, which means get me to sleep with him, and in exchange he'd help us out financially."

"That bitch!" Summer said. "Please tell me you kicked him out on his ass," she added after a moment.

"We need more money," Ryan admitted.

"Ryan..." Summer said, her tone more sad than disappointed.

"I didn't sleep with him. I... we got in a fight, and then he made some promises, and I... I caved, I agreed because I am so scared I won't be able to take care of Theresa and the baby... but then Eddie came in my room a while ago, and I... I couldn't do it. I called him out on his shit, and how him and me was always about him and what he wanted, not what I needed, and he just didn't get it, so I told him I'm better than being his whore, and I walked out of the room."

"Good for you."

"But if I don't... I don't know how I'm gonna make enough money to support them."

"You'll figure it out," Summer insisted. "Or you'll cave and ask the Cohens for help, you know they'd give it."

"I know, but..."

"They love you, and they miss you so much."

"I miss them, too," Ryan admitted. "If it wasn't for the baby, I'd go home to Newport, but... I can't leave her... Theresa and Eddie'll fuck her up, and I just..."

"Her? It's a girl?" Summer asked.

"Yeah," Ryan said, unable to help smiling. "I'm gonna have a little girl."

"Oh, Chino, that's so awesome," Summer said. "I get to be Auntie Summer and spoiler her, right?"

"Like I could stop you," Ryan said. "I miss you, too, you know."

"I know," Summer said. "I miss you, too. I mean, it's kinda great that Cohen sailed away like a little bitch and stayed away, but... Coop is drunk most of the time, and you're the only person I want to hang out with."

"What about that Zach guy you mentioned?"

"He's a sweet guy, but... he's no Ryan Atwood."

"If it wasn't for the baby, I'd be asking you to come get me. I'd be begging you to."

"And I would already be halfway there," Summer promised. "Ry... maybe after... if your so sure your daughter won't be safe around them, after she's born... talk to Sandy, get custody, come home. The people who love you will help you."

"I'll think about it," Ryan said.

"That's all I ask," Summer said. "Well, that and I get to meet your daughter when she's born, regardless of whatever else you decide in the interim."

"Word of the day calendar?" Ryan teased.

"Word of the day online," Summer admitted, giggling slightly. "I'm trying to expand my horizons. I was bored and took my PSATs and I did pretty good, so... I thought maybe I should try out the whole 'not being a brain dead princess' thing."

"Good, because brain dead princess is definitely not the Summer Roberts I know," Ryan said. "I should go, let you get back to sleep."

"I'm always gonna pick up, Chino. You call, I answer."

"Good to know."

~~~

Eddie stayed at the house with them, even though Ryan locked his door to keep both Eddie and Theresa out, and after a week there would be an angry kick at it from Eddie each night, and a week after that Eddie would yell at him to unlock it and let him in, but Ryan just ignored him, reading over the GED prep information Summer had sent him. She'd included a note that they'd all rather he actually finish school, but if that wasn't going to happen, he should at least get his GED, it'd make it easier to get further in life in general.

After a while of that, Eddie started trying to corner Ryan during the day, pressing him against a wall and trying to kiss him until Ryan hit his limit and hit him in the groin again before making his escape to behind locked doors. A couple weeks of that had Eddie trying another tactic: being nice. He'd pick up take-out he knew Ryan liked, or he'd buy Ryan a pack of his favorite brand of cigarettes, once he even put on a Journey CD when Ryan was cooking dinner and didn't even mock the band like he usually did. And while it made things less hostile in general, Ryan stuck to his convictions and continued to lock his door at night.

Things came to a head when, after a long day at work, Ryan forgot to lock the door before getting in the shower and came back to find Eddie waiting for him on the bed. "Get out," Ryan said, glad he'd taken his clothes into the bathroom with him so he was at least dressed.

"Come on, I've been trying," Eddie argued. "I've been being nice!"

"Yeah, and I don't hate you, I just know you're an ass, and I know you're only doing it because you want in my pants, and that's not happening, Eddie."

"But I've been helping out, and..."

"And I told you I'm not going to be your fuck toy!" Ryan snapped. "Now get off my bed and out of my room!"

"Not until you stop being a frigid little bitch!" Eddie replied, getting up.

"Go to hell," Ryan said. "I'm not sleeping with you."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not, and I swear to god if you try to make me? You will regret it."

"Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" Eddie asked just before lashing out and slamming Ryan's head against the door frame, dazing the younger man for a moment, and by the time his head cleared Eddie was on top of him, holding him down. "I can have you anytime I want."

"Get off of me," Ryan said, trying to push him away, and when that failed trying to get leverage for a kick, but Eddie swiftly flipped him over and pinned him face down on the floor with one of his legs right behind Ryan's knees, leaving him effectively trapped, and that's not a position he wanted to be in.

"Not so tough when you can't hit below the belt, are you?" Eddie mocked.

"Get off of me," Ryan repeated, eyes squeezed shut as panic crept in, a response to Eddie kissing the back of his neck like they were still lovers.

"Shh..." Eddie began, one hand moving to tug at Ryan's sweatpants. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

And that was too damn close to the first time they'd had sex, when Ryan was twelve to Eddie's sixteen, and he had gotten scared when it came time to actually have sex. He'd wanted it then, or at least he had in theory, but it had hurt and Eddie hadn't stopped when he'd asked him, begged him, to. Before Newport, when Ryan had desperately wanted Eddie to love him back, he'd rationalized that it had just been nerves, that Eddie had been right to keep going because it had felt better after awhile. But after a year of actually getting some hard earned self respect, Ryan knew without a doubt that he didn't want this. "Please stop," he asked. "Please, Eddie, don't do this. I will never forgive you, and things will never be like they were. But if you stop, you can prove... you'll prove you're not a bad guy, you'll still have a chance to fix things, just... please..."

"Ryan? Eddie?" came from down the hallway.

Ryan opened his eyes again to see Theresa standing at the edge of the living room, a shocked look on her face as she looked at them. "Tee..." Ryan began, unable to help the relief in his tone. If Theresa was in the house, Eddie would back off, he wouldn't do this with Theresa there to hear it.

"Eddie, what are you doing?"

"I... nothing, we were just... talking..." Eddie began, though it was such an obvious lie that no one would have fallen for it, especially not the girl who knew the two of them better than anyone else in the world.

"Get off of him, right now," Theresa said, one hand on her stomach and the other clutching the door frame. "And get out of my house."

"Theresa..." Eddie tried, but she shook her head.

"Get off of him, Eddie, or I swear to God..."

"What?" Eddie snapped. "You didn't give a shit when I was banging in his door demanding he let me fuck him, why should I believe you care now?"

"Let him go, or I'm calling the police and telling them how you tried to rape me, but thank God Ryan got home before you could do much than scare me," Theresa said, making her voice go trembling and ending in a choked sob, all while glaring coldly at him.

"Theresa..." Eddie began again, though he did get up off of Ryan.

For his part, Ryan took several deep breaths before slowly, cautiously getting to his feet, vaguely aware of the blood trickling down his face from a cut over his right eyebrow. Once upright, Ryan took a swing, slamming Eddie into the same door frame he himself had hit just minutes earlier. "Get your shit and get the fuck out before I kill you," he said.

There was near silence in the house as Eddie stumbled into the living room, where his stuff was in the corner, apparently waiting for Ryan to give in and let him move into the bedroom, and it remained quiet until Ryan had closed and locked the door behind Eddie. Then, Ryan turned and sank to the floor, his back against the door and his head in his hands as his whole body trembled.

"Ryan, I..."

"That is why I was so pissed that you did this, Theresa," he said, not looking at her. "Because when he doesn't get his way with me, he pulls that shit. And if you hadn't walked in, we both know what he would have done."

"I didn't... I mean, he got mad, and he hit, but..."

"You can't let him in our lives, Theresa. He can't be near our daughter, because sooner or later, he will hurt her," Ryan said, finally looking up at her. "And I... I'll kill him. And I swear to god, if you let him near you or the baby? I will take our daughter and I will get custody, and you will never see her again."

"Ryan!"

"I won't let anyone hurt my daughter, Theresa. Not even you. And I don't want to take her from you, but I will if it's the only way to keep her safe from him. Because Eddie... he doesn't listen to 'no' or 'stop' or 'don't', he just keeps going."

Theresa nodded and slowly sank down to sit on the floor beside him, her head resting on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Ryan."

"Just promise me..."

"Never. Eddie will never get near her."

"Okay."

To Be Continued...


Okay. Yeah. This starts the road to Ryan being back where he belongs: in Newport with the Cohens. I really don't see Theresa as horrible in this. Yeah, she was selfish, but since she thought Eddie loved Ryan (remember, he'd call Ryan's name when he was with her) she didn't think he'd hurt Ryan, and she thought Ryan would be happier if Eddie was there with them. She thought it was a way to be able to have more, win for everybody. She genuinely didn't realize that Eddie was as abusive to Ryan as he was to her (worse, even, since Ryan was so young the first time and Eddie took advantage of that). Remember, at best she was 17 or 18 when she got pregnant. She was a kid, too. And she always struck me as actually being less mature than Ryan, probably because she had more people she could rely on than he ever did.

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