missmara13 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
missmara13) wrote2017-12-09 08:41 pm
missmara13) wrote2017-12-09 08:41 pm
Entry tags:
24 Gifts Of 2017 - Gift #9 - Lost & Found (Befores & Afters Verse)
This takes place a few years after the previous one in this verse, 'Befores & Afters'. Ryan has had custody of Jake ever since he made the deal with Julie allowing her visitations with Jake if she didn't fight him for custody. This one... god, I started to cry writing it because the idea of the pain Ryan is in... but don't worry, there's a happy ending.
"Ry..." Seth began.
"Don't," Ryan replied, not looking up from where he sat on the couch, settled between Kirsten and Summer. "Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't pretend to give a damn about me."
"That's not fair!" Seth protested.
"Not fair?" Ryan said coldly, finally looking up at Seth. "You left Jake alone with Julie for hours. Hours, Seth. She walked out five minutes after you left, and you were gone for hours. She could have taken him anywhere. And why? What was so important? Screwing your assistant. And don't tell me you didn't plan it, because you... you're the one who got the hotel room this morning. You planned to leave Jake alone with Julie so you could cheat on your wife. And now Jake is missing, and I swear to you, Seth, if he doesn't come home safe, I'll..." he trailed off, the thought of Jake not coming home too much to handle as a ragged sob slipped out.
"Seth, go... somewhere else," Kirsten said, leaving Summer to comfort Ryan as she stood and stepped between her sons. "I don't care where, just somewhere not here."
"Mom!"
"I don't want to look at you right now," Kirsten said. "Even if Ryan someday forgives you, I will never forgive you for this. I will never forgive you for putting your brother through this. For putting Jake through this. Get out of my house, Seth. Right now."
Ryan glanced up as Seth walked out and Kirsten returned to her seat beside him. "Thank you," he whispered.
"I meant every word," Kirsten said.
"What if they don't find him?"
"They will," Summer said, speaking up for the first time since she had slapped Seth after learning what he had done. "They'll find him, and he'll be back home, safe with you."
Ryan looked over at her. "How can you sound so sure?"
"Because I refuse to believe this can end any other way but with him safe in your arms. I won't accept that possibility. You have to believe that, Chino, you have to."
"Yeah, well, two years ago, I believed Frank would never hurt Jake like he used to hurt me and Trey. Look how that turned out," Ryan said, shrugging off their comforting arms and getting up off the couch. "This is my fault," he said.
"No, it's not," Kirsten said. "The only people to blame are Julie and Seth."
Ryan shook his head. "No, it's mine. I shouldn't have let Seth supervise a visit. I should have stuck to my guns about it, because I told you, Kirsten, two years ago, at the hospital, I told you that I didn't trust him to stay focused on Jake and Julie. I told you that, but I still... I trusted him. And now Jake's gone and I don't know if I'm ever gonna see him again."
"Ryan, honey..."
"If Julie took him to Frank, he's probably dead already," Ryan said, his voice cracking. "Frank doesn't like betrayal, he gets mad, and when he gets mad, he has no control... if she... if he... I'll never forgive myself..."
Kirsten jumped up and pulled Ryan into her arms, ignoring his weak attempt to pull away until he broke, clinging to her and sobbing against her shoulder. "It's not your fault, it's not, baby, it's not," she kept whispering.
"Here," Summer said, pressing a phone to Ryan's ear.
"Ryan?" came Sandy's voice over the line. "Ryan, the police found him, Jake's okay."
Ryan yanked away from Kirsten and grabbed the phone from Summer's hand. "What? What did you say?"
"He's okay. They're taking him to a hospital to be on the safe side, but they said he seems okay."
"Where? What hospital?"
~~~
They made the almost eight hour drive to Chula Vista in just under seven, only stopping for gas. Summer drove the entire way with Ryan in the passenger seat, obsessively checking his phone for updates from Sandy. Kirsten had stayed behind, not wanting Sophie Rose to woke up in the morning without either parent present.
Over the course of the drive, Ryan had found out that Sandy had apparently had a feeling that Julie was heading for the border and had gotten on a plane so that he had been there and made sure the border patrol had pictures of Julie, Frank, and Jake before they had tried crossing the border.
By the time they got Jake to the nearest hospital, Sandy was already there and hadn't left since, promising not to do so until Ryan was there himself.
"How's Jake doing?" Summer asked as they turned off the highway.
"Sandy says he's starting to wake up. Doctor says everything looks good, he should be okay."
"Told you," Summer said.
Ryan laughed slightly. "Not the time to gloat, Sum," he replied. "But thanks."
"Chino, if you never listen to my advice ever again, listen now," Summer continued. "Let go of the guilt, okay? Don't walk in there blaming yourself, because I promise you? Jake isn't blaming you. As soon as he wakes up, he's going to want you, and only you, because you are safety to him. So walk into that room and give him the biggest hug, and tell him how much you love him, and just let go of the guilty."
Ryan nodded. "Okay."
"Okay."
~~~
As it happened, Jake was awake by the time they were being led down the hallway, and Ryan heard him before he saw him.
"I want Ryan!" the little boy screamed.
Ryan broke into a run, not even hesitating as he got to the door and saw Jake's face, bright red as he sobbed and hit at Sandy. "Jake!" Ryan said, rushing in and scooping up the sobbing boy. "It's okay, I'm here, it's okay," he repeated, over and over.
"Ry," Jake sobbed, wrapping his arms around Ryan's neck and clinging to him for dear life.
"He's okay," Sandy said. "He just really wanted you, I'm not even a pale substitute," he added, gently rubbing Jake's back as it heaved with sobs.
"I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, okay? Okay, Jake? I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
The End
"Ry..." Seth began.
"Don't," Ryan replied, not looking up from where he sat on the couch, settled between Kirsten and Summer. "Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't pretend to give a damn about me."
"That's not fair!" Seth protested.
"Not fair?" Ryan said coldly, finally looking up at Seth. "You left Jake alone with Julie for hours. Hours, Seth. She walked out five minutes after you left, and you were gone for hours. She could have taken him anywhere. And why? What was so important? Screwing your assistant. And don't tell me you didn't plan it, because you... you're the one who got the hotel room this morning. You planned to leave Jake alone with Julie so you could cheat on your wife. And now Jake is missing, and I swear to you, Seth, if he doesn't come home safe, I'll..." he trailed off, the thought of Jake not coming home too much to handle as a ragged sob slipped out.
"Seth, go... somewhere else," Kirsten said, leaving Summer to comfort Ryan as she stood and stepped between her sons. "I don't care where, just somewhere not here."
"Mom!"
"I don't want to look at you right now," Kirsten said. "Even if Ryan someday forgives you, I will never forgive you for this. I will never forgive you for putting your brother through this. For putting Jake through this. Get out of my house, Seth. Right now."
Ryan glanced up as Seth walked out and Kirsten returned to her seat beside him. "Thank you," he whispered.
"I meant every word," Kirsten said.
"What if they don't find him?"
"They will," Summer said, speaking up for the first time since she had slapped Seth after learning what he had done. "They'll find him, and he'll be back home, safe with you."
Ryan looked over at her. "How can you sound so sure?"
"Because I refuse to believe this can end any other way but with him safe in your arms. I won't accept that possibility. You have to believe that, Chino, you have to."
"Yeah, well, two years ago, I believed Frank would never hurt Jake like he used to hurt me and Trey. Look how that turned out," Ryan said, shrugging off their comforting arms and getting up off the couch. "This is my fault," he said.
"No, it's not," Kirsten said. "The only people to blame are Julie and Seth."
Ryan shook his head. "No, it's mine. I shouldn't have let Seth supervise a visit. I should have stuck to my guns about it, because I told you, Kirsten, two years ago, at the hospital, I told you that I didn't trust him to stay focused on Jake and Julie. I told you that, but I still... I trusted him. And now Jake's gone and I don't know if I'm ever gonna see him again."
"Ryan, honey..."
"If Julie took him to Frank, he's probably dead already," Ryan said, his voice cracking. "Frank doesn't like betrayal, he gets mad, and when he gets mad, he has no control... if she... if he... I'll never forgive myself..."
Kirsten jumped up and pulled Ryan into her arms, ignoring his weak attempt to pull away until he broke, clinging to her and sobbing against her shoulder. "It's not your fault, it's not, baby, it's not," she kept whispering.
"Here," Summer said, pressing a phone to Ryan's ear.
"Ryan?" came Sandy's voice over the line. "Ryan, the police found him, Jake's okay."
Ryan yanked away from Kirsten and grabbed the phone from Summer's hand. "What? What did you say?"
"He's okay. They're taking him to a hospital to be on the safe side, but they said he seems okay."
"Where? What hospital?"
~~~
They made the almost eight hour drive to Chula Vista in just under seven, only stopping for gas. Summer drove the entire way with Ryan in the passenger seat, obsessively checking his phone for updates from Sandy. Kirsten had stayed behind, not wanting Sophie Rose to woke up in the morning without either parent present.
Over the course of the drive, Ryan had found out that Sandy had apparently had a feeling that Julie was heading for the border and had gotten on a plane so that he had been there and made sure the border patrol had pictures of Julie, Frank, and Jake before they had tried crossing the border.
By the time they got Jake to the nearest hospital, Sandy was already there and hadn't left since, promising not to do so until Ryan was there himself.
"How's Jake doing?" Summer asked as they turned off the highway.
"Sandy says he's starting to wake up. Doctor says everything looks good, he should be okay."
"Told you," Summer said.
Ryan laughed slightly. "Not the time to gloat, Sum," he replied. "But thanks."
"Chino, if you never listen to my advice ever again, listen now," Summer continued. "Let go of the guilt, okay? Don't walk in there blaming yourself, because I promise you? Jake isn't blaming you. As soon as he wakes up, he's going to want you, and only you, because you are safety to him. So walk into that room and give him the biggest hug, and tell him how much you love him, and just let go of the guilty."
Ryan nodded. "Okay."
"Okay."
~~~
As it happened, Jake was awake by the time they were being led down the hallway, and Ryan heard him before he saw him.
"I want Ryan!" the little boy screamed.
Ryan broke into a run, not even hesitating as he got to the door and saw Jake's face, bright red as he sobbed and hit at Sandy. "Jake!" Ryan said, rushing in and scooping up the sobbing boy. "It's okay, I'm here, it's okay," he repeated, over and over.
"Ry," Jake sobbed, wrapping his arms around Ryan's neck and clinging to him for dear life.
"He's okay," Sandy said. "He just really wanted you, I'm not even a pale substitute," he added, gently rubbing Jake's back as it heaved with sobs.
"I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, okay? Okay, Jake? I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
The End